Do You Remember
by prettylittleporcelain
Summary: Kurt is bullied and lonely in his first year of high school. He desperately wants a friend he can confide in. Blaine is cool, popular and easily manipulated by his friends. Will he risk being shunned to be with Kurt? AU, Spans whole of high school.
1. Prologue

**A/N: Before you start, a warning: There are a lot of bullying and alienation stuff in here that may upset and trigger you. Know your limits and talk about it if this brings bad memories for you. Feel free to send me a message about your experiences and how they relate to the things Kurt experiences in this story, I love hearing them all. But just be aware that you have to wade through the bad shit to get to the good stuff. Just be aware of what you are getting in to, it is nothing too bad but I know that this story has brought back unpleasant memories for some reading it.**

**Also, there is stuff in the poem below that is not mentioned in my story, I am putting these in outtakes. **

**This story is in two parts, one freshman year and one senior year. The characters are quite different to the ones in cannon.**

**With that, go on and I hope you enjoy. **

26 May 2010

Blaine,

_I remember our days together, the good, the sad, and the wonderful._

_I remember that piggyback race, eyes closed, cheek to cheek. I cared about nothing else. _

_I remember our first dance, awkward, not quite holding hands. I still think of you when I hear that song._

_I remember the depression and how we talked each other out of it, late into the night._

_I remember running to school early every morning so I could be with you sooner._

_I remember when you said, "When we're older…" and I thought we would last that long._

_I remember my family problems and you talked me through it from 200 kilometres away. _

_I remember when you told me I wasn't smart enough, handsome enough, funny enough. _

_I remember when I couldn't stop talking about you; I thought I had finally found my someone._

_I remember when you told me I was your best friend, and that was all we would ever be._

_I remember the distance you put between us._

_I remember when everyone else said we belong together and I believed them._

_And I remember when you stopped talking to me. The depression came back and I cried every night. _

_I remember. Do you? _


	2. Part I: Chapter 1

August 2009

_Shit, shit, shit. What if I don't make friends? What if I become a huge loser? What if I am shunned and forced to eat lunch in the bathroom? _

These are the thoughts that plagued Kurt's mind as he wandered into his new school _McKinley High_. It was the first day and Kurt was terrified. He didn't know anyone and wasn't particularly good at making friends because he was too quiet. He just hoped that someone would take pity on him and take them under their wing. While worrying about all the negative things that could happen, he was also excited by the possibilities that high school could bring: parties, boyfriends, friends that he would keep forever, experiences he would never forget. He thought that this will be the time of his life and he couldn't wait to get started.

McKinley High was very different to what Kurt imagined. More windows, larger rooms, _dirtier _rooms and **so many people**. His mother and father home schooled him for most of his life but when they divorced his mother decided he needed to be social and make friends, have a school experience before he grows up. And so here he is. First day of freshman year. Kurt wanders into his homeroom and looks around discretely. '_Where I sit could determine whom I sit with for the rest of the year, better make it count' _thought Kurt, scanning the room still from the door. He decided, finally, that a perky looking girl with a wide smile and brown hair was a safe bet. She looked friendly and social. Kurt tended to choose outgoing people as friends so they would do all the talking and he wouldn't have to. Kurt slid into the old stool beside her cautiously. Kurt gave the girl next to him a hesitant smile to which she replied with a beaming one of her own.

"Hi, I'm Rachel Berry." The girl, _Rachel, _stuck out her hand for Kurt to shake, which he did quickly before sliding his hand back into his pocket.

"Kurt Hummel," He replied. "It's nice to meet you."

Kurt scanned the classroom, looking at the other people around them, who he would come to know in the next four years together. Maybe some will change him, some he will laugh with, and some he will cry about. Kurt didn't know who would take on what role and the prospect of the future excited him. While looking around the room he noticed a guy in the front left corner of the room chatting with some other people. This guy in particular stood out for some reason that Kurt wasn't sure of. Maybe it was his beautiful twinkling eyes; maybe it was his unruly curly hair. He already looked fed up with school and it was only beginning. He looked at him for a moment too long, the guy noticed and raised his eyebrow in response. Kurt blushed a very obvious shade of red at being caught at his people watching and looked down at his lap. Rachel noticed the exchange and leaned over to whisper to Kurt,

"That's Blaine."

Kurt looked at her in shock, how did she know his name? It was the first day!

"We went to middle school together," Rachel answered his unspoken question. "You might have a chance with him, he's bisexual. But I think he's got a girlfriend right now…" Rachel trailed off, thinking. Now Kurt really looked at her in shock. His mouth was open and the embarrassment still hadn't washed off his red face. She said it so matter of factly, like it wasn't a big deal. For Kurt, being gay _was_ a big deal. Something that he neither asked for, nor wanted. He had come to terms with it recently but it certainly wasn't something that he wanted to be common knowledge. Did Blaine know or care that everyone knew his sexual orientation? Kurt was intrigued. And did Rachel guess he was gay? Was it that obvious? Maybe he should stop looking at men altogether. "Oh, um, good for him." Kurt stuttered out as a lame response. Rachel giggled at his shyness. She found it endearing.

After a super boring few hours of icebreaker and 'getting to know you' exercises, they were released for lunch. It was then that Kurt started panicking. Where would he go? Who would he sit with? Him and Rachel had chatted a bit but she couldn't invite himself to have lunch with her and her friends and he hadn't talked to anyone else. So it was with resignation that Kurt grabbed his food and sat outside the classroom on a bench. He felt isolated, alone. He saw the groups of people around him, ignoring him. He wasn't brave enough to talk to them. Far too intimidating. This was the routine for about a week. After class he would slowly pack up his things and sit outside with his lunch and a book. Eventually, he came to like his own company. He didn't need to be pulled into small talk; he could do what he wanted. And so he read, catching up with his old and favourite stories. The next Monday he was in his spot with a sandwich and Harry Potter when Rachel walked past. She was obviously headed somewhere, Kurt could tell, by the purposeful set in her steps but they faltered suddenly when she came across him. He felt his cheeks flame with embarrassment. _God, she is going to think I'm a total loser._ He was beginning to like Rachel, they just as similar as they were different. The only problem was she was his only friend so far, Kurt was yet to talk to anyone else and no one had bothered to approach him. He didn't want Rachel to feel like he was bothering her by being around her all the time so he kept his distance in some classes and let her come to him.

"Kurt," Rachel began, "What are you doing?" Her tone was demanding, slightly angry.

"Um, reading?" Kurt answered. There were many sarcastic answers he could of used and his mind flitted through many of them before he decided not to be a smart ass and answer her question properly. You don't make friends by using sarcasm.

"Do you always sit alone?" Rachel hesitated then walked over to him, taking a spot beside him on the bench cautiously. Her nose was wrinkled, obviously the bench was too dirty for her liking.

"Well, yeah. I don't know anyone yet."

"Oh! You should have said something sooner! Come with me!" She grabbed his hand excitedly and pulled him up. Kurt packed away his things quickly and followed Rachel.

She brought him over to a group of people sitting in a circle on one of the football fields.

"Ladies and gents, this is Kurt. You know him from class!" She introduced them but the names were all a blur. Kurt smiled politely and waved at them in greeting before uncomfortably sitting cross-legged between Rachel and another girl with long blond hair. For the rest of lunch Kurt sat quietly listening to the group's conversation. He didn't feel comfortable enough to join in but was happy to sit quietly and observe. Once the bell rang for the next period to began, he followed them back to the classroom.

It was science, an awful class Kurt hated and today they had to pick lab partners for some research task they had to complete. Kurt was absolutely dreading it, he would much rather work alone. He sat behind his desk, hunched over and pulled out his book while waiting for the teacher to begin. She began calling out names and Kurt could feel his anxiety rise as she went down the list. _Maybe there would be an odd number and I could work independently_ Kurt hoped. But it was in vain as he heard his name and then… "…Will be paired with Blaine Anderson."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A shot of excitement went down his back and turned into butterflies sitting in his stomach. Kurt was thrilled to work with the handsome and mysterious boy he couldn't take his eyes off of on the first day. There hadn't been any interaction between the two between them since then but now was Kurt's chance to make a new friend.

"Hi" Kurt said nervously as Blaine took a seat beside him. Blaine smiled in response and put his earplugs in. Kurt could hear the music blearing from where he was seated.

"Um, so do you like Fall Out Boy then?" Kurt asked in an attempt to make conversation with the other boy.

"Pardon?" Blaine took one earplug out to listen to him.

"Do you like Fall Out Boy? I can hear them playing through your earphones."

"Oh, yeah I do!" Blaine replied, his usually bored faced suddenly turned animated at the mention of the band.

"They're my favourite. Do you like them?"

Kurt nodded shyly. He felt proud that he started a conversation between them.

"Here, do you want to listen?" Blaine took one of his earphones and gave it to Kurt to put in his ear. They stayed like that for the rest of the lesson, working quietly and listening to music together. It was thrilling to Kurt and as left the classroom at the end of the day Kurt couldn't help but notice his stomach doing flips. A smile plastered on his face, he couldn't wait to get to know Blaine better.


	3. Part I: Chapter 2

Blaine and Kurt fell into a routine since that first science class together. Once they took their seats, Blaine would take out one earphone and silently hand it to Kurt. They would spend the class working in silence on their project unless there was a silence related question to discuss. Sharing that time with Blaine made Kurt feel giddy, excited and special. Sadly Blaine seemed to feel unfazed by this routine, according to Kurt anyway. But apart from this hour three times a week, Blaine and Kurt did not communicate. The may have been in the same classes but did not run in the same circles. Blaine had his friends and Kurt had, well, his book. He sat with Rachel and her friends at lunch but was still yet to hold anything but polite conversation with any of them. They were nice people, Kurt thought, but he just did not connect with them. He felt like he was on another planet or something. Like he was a puzzle piece that had somehow got into the wrong box. Nevertheless, he sat with them anyway to feel less alone.

The next Monday, three weeks from the first lesson, Kurt was determined to hold a conversation with Blaine. For some unknown reason Kurt felt this magnetism towards him, like he couldn't help it. It was his _fate_ to befriend Blaine. It wasn't that he was the only other out of the closet male at the school that made Kurt feel attracted to him but maybe it was the depth in his liquid eyes, a small tug of sadness if you pushed beyond the boredom: Blaine's default expression. So Kurt made his way into class, trying to keep a very casual exterior but inside, his mind was running havoc with a ridiculous amount of thoughts rushing around his brain at the same time.

"Hi." Kurt started with. It took him all night to work on that opening line.

"Hey." Blaine smiled but didn't look up from his textbook. He offered Kurt the earphone and went back to reading whatever he was reading.

"So um, how was your weekend?" Small talk, not Kurt's finest attempt at conversation, but it will do, he decided.

"Really well, I went to a friend's party which went all night and just bummed around with friends. It was cool."

"Cool." Kurt said lamely unable to think of another response. Blaine turned his head then and looked at Kurt for the first time that day. It felt like his beautiful eyes were burning a hole in Kurt's face. He could feel the blood rising to his cheeks at the attention.

"Would you like to pick something?" Blaine held out his iPod to Kurt. Kurt blinked for a second, unsure of what to do before he managed to tell his arm to pick up the device. He took it from Blaine, his fingers sliding accidentally over Blaine's as he did so.

"Er, sorry." Kurt muttered. Pulling his hand back quickly. He focused his attention intensely on the iPod as if it had the secrets of the world that Kurt had to memorise. He scrolled through the music until he found something other than Punk Rock. Kurt pressed play and a Ramones song blasted through the earphones. He smiled to himself, proud of the choice. It would show Blaine that not only did he have a good taste in music, but that he knew his old school stadium rock. He mentally patted himself on the back. Blaine seemed pleased at the selection too as he raised his eyebrows and nodded his head as soon as he recognised the song.

Once the period was over Blaine and Kurt made their way out of the room and onto the next class of the day: PE. Kurt hated it but he was walking beside Blaine so he couldn't help but smile.

"So, what did you do this weekend?" Blaine asked

Taken aback, Kurt paused for a second to let the butterflies in his stomach settle before answering.

"Oh, um I just stayed home. I was reading a really good book actually…"

"Hey guys!" And in comes Rachel, jumping between Kurt and Blaine. "Ready for PE?"

Blaine rolled his eyes. "No, thank you for reminding me." The look of interest Blaine had before had disappeared and Kurt's mood dropped at the sight of it. Rachel nudged Blaine playfully and suddenly Kurt felt extremely jealous. He wished he could feel comfortable enough to do that.

"Since it's raining we can't play tennis so I heard they are just going to put us into the hall and make us play games." Rachel announced. Kurt and Blaine just nodded.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Fifteen minutes later Kurt somehow managed to be in a group with Blaine, Rachel and some other guy he didn't know the name of.

"Okay class, relay races. The First race is piggyback so pair up!" The PE teacher demanded. Kurt looked at his group; Rachel had already paired up and was flirting with the other guy, which left Blaine and Kurt. They turned to each other startled with this turn of events but Blaine collected himself and started walking to the other end of the gym. He turned back after a few steps and looked at Kurt, who was so unsure and out of his comfort zone he was just shifting back and forth on his feet.

"You coming?" Asked Blaine before he turned around and started walking again. Kurt followed, running after him. After reaching the other side, facing Rachel, Blaine stopped and turned around so his back was to Kurt. He bent his knees and Kurt took that as his cue to jump on. After a deep breath he put his hands on Blaine's shoulders.

"You ready?" Kurt asked nervously not wanting to break Blaine.

"Yeah, come on." Kurt jumped up, wrapping his legs around Blaine's waist and his arms around his neck. _Wow_, Kurt could not believe this was happening.

"You okay up there?" Asked Blaine as he straightened up. Kurt replied that he was fine and they went over to the start line to take their place.

"Ready, Steady, Go." Said the teacher once everyone was ready. And Blaine took off, his strong legs holding Kurt's weight easily. Feeling the wind race through his hair, Kurt was sure Blaine was going to trip and they were going to fall into a heap, Kurt help on a little tighter and pressed himself closer to Blaine. He put his chin on Blaine's shoulder so he could see and without realising it, his face was pressed to Blaine's. He was sure that the other boy could feel his blush but silently prayed that he couldn't feel the beginning of the erection in Kurt's pants. _God that would be embarrassing._ Too soon for Kurt's liking, they were at the point where they switched with Rachel and her partner. Kurt had no excuse to be on Blaine's back anymore so he hopped off once they had stopped. Kurt missed the feel of Blaine and being near him so much it made his chest hurt. But his heart was also thumping with adrenaline. He couldn't believe that just happened. Once the race was over Blaine walked back to his friends without a backwards glance in Kurt's direction.

Rachel wandered over to Kurt and turned to him with a beaming, sneaky smile. "You like him," she said teasingly before sauntering off to go annoy someone else.

Sadness overwhelmed Kurt suddenly as he watched Blaine ignore him as if those last few minutes never happened. _This boy is going to be the end of me _Kurt predicted as he walked out of the gym and slid down the wall outside it staring into space and recapping those amazing few moments of Blaine's arms wrapped around Kurt's legs to hold him in place as they were pressed together. Kurt was sure that he had never felt happier.


	4. Part I: Chapter 3

"So… how's it going with you and Blaine?" Rachel asked, her eyebrows waggling suggestively.

Kurt sighed, "You make it sound like there is a me and Blaine. Nothing's happening,"

"Well," Rachel continued, pressing the issue. She _loved_ playing matchmaker. "I heard that him and his girlfriend aren't together anymore and you too looked pretty cute together in PE the other day," Kurt shrugged. We was feeling quite low today, on his way to class one of his classmates shoved him with his shoulder as he walked past, yelling "Watch it Hummel." Kurt didn't consider himself weak or a victim but the amount of people at this school that disliked him for no proper reason definitely outweigh the amount of people that cared. Kurt sighed and grabbed his bag, walking out of the class as the bell rang. Rachel trailed behind looking hopeful. She was far too invested in this for Kurt's liking. "I don't know Rachel, I'm not interested in pursuing someone who doesn't really care for me." Rachel nodded but Kurt doubted she would let this go very easily. He hadn't known her for very long but he already knew that when she had an idea in her head, she would move heaven and earth to make it happen.

They both wondered to their next class, English, and made their way to their seats. Rachel sat at the front with her friends and Kurt preferred the back, where he sat by himself like he did in every class. He couldn't help but feel a little more isolated from his peers day by day but kept reminding himself that it was mostly his doing. Kurt had pulled out his schoolbook and was doodling pointlessly on the cover when he heard the chair beside him scraping as it was dragged out from underneath the desk. Kurt was surprised, no one bothered to sit with him usually. He turned his head to the left to see Blaine take the seat beside him and started to get out his stationary for the class. Kurt just stared at him. _What was he doing? Did he want to be picked on by the class as well? _

"Hey," Blaine said casually, as if that was his usual seat.

"Um, hi," replied Kurt. "What are you, I mean, um, why are you sitting here? Don't you want to sit by your friends?" Blaine shrugged,

"Nah, they're being lame. And I wanted a change of scenery." The teacher started her class then and Kurt and Blaine were silent for the lesson, working comfortably beside each other. For the first time that day, Kurt cracked a smile. He felt right, sitting next to Blaine. Like it was his place. Unfortunately, the class didn't agree and kept sneaking shocked glances at the pair. Kurt was starting to get annoyed, can't they just mind their own business!? Kurt was happy to get through high school with invisibility; the only people noticing him were his friends and no one else caring what he did or where he sat with. But apparently he was stuck with a group of nosey peers. Kurt tried to shoot fierce glares at anyone who looked at him but it didn't impede the looks. Blaine didn't seem to really notice, his head was bent down and he was taking notes in his book. Kurt wished he could shrug it off just as easily.

Once class let out, Rachel was back at Kurt's side. "Okay," She announced, "I've got a plan."

Kurt rolled his eyes at the determined girl but let her continue. "What if I date Blaine and then dump him and you can be his shoulder to cry on, and then he will realise how much he likes you and you will live happily ever after." Kurt laughed at the ridiculousness of her idea. "First of all Rachel, there is no such thing as a happily ever after and secondly, I appreciate the dedication but I am fine. What will happen will happen." Rachel looked disappointed,

"Okay Kurt, I understand, it's your life but the offer still stands." She flounced away and rejoined her friends.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Later that day Kurt was heading to the library, while he sat most days with Rachel and her friends, he felt like he was bothering them and today with his gloomy attitude he decided he just needed some time with his books. But on the way he ran into some classmates, Dave and Azimo. They were friends with Blaine but he had never spoke to them, they looked kind of intimidating. But they were coming right towards him so he stood frozen, hoping they wouldn't bump into their shoulder again. Kurt decided before they got to close to just put his head down and keep walking, unfortunately they noticed him anyway. "Hummel," Dave yelled, "You piece of shit. Nobody cares about you, Blaine just pities you because you are a loner." And with that they looked at him snidely then walked away. Kurt had tears in his eyes as he kept walking toward the library, his safe place. He hoped it wasn't true, about Blaine pitying him, although he didn't doubt it, how could he? He wasn't interesting or attractive. Before he walked into the library entrance he looked to his left and saw Blaine standing there, conflict on his face. Had he seen or heard the exchange? Probably. Kurt wondered what he was thinking. Kurt paused to see if Blaine would come over to talk to him but he just turned and rejoined his friends without looking again in Kurt's direction. Kurt sighed, his shoulders sinking forward as he hunched over himself in protection and comfort and dragged his feet as he made his way into the library.

XXXXXXXXXX

That night Kurt lay on his bed on his back, looking blankly at the ceiling. He was thinking about Blaine with tears running down his face. He felt alone. And then he remembered that warmth in his chest, the excitement and happiness he feels when Blaine is near. He thought about class that day, how close Blaine was, how we went out of his way to sit beside Kurt. Their arms brushing against each other's as they worked. Kurt smiled, remembering Blaine's smile. He smiled, the image of Blaine burning into his retina's as he fell asleep.


	5. Part I: Chapter 4

It's Tuesday afternoon a few weeks later, it is the last class of the day. Kurt was really looking forward to going home. He hated school. He hoped this class went by quickly. This wish changed when he heard: "Hey loser, how are ya?" Kurt turns his head to see a cheerful Blaine settling into the seat beside him. He puts a smile on his face and replies: "I'm fine. How are you?" As Blaine and Kurt continued to exchange pleasantries and talk about pointless things, Kurt's mood- which had been low due to some kids whispering "no one wants you" to him as he walked passed- was on the rise thanks to an unusually cheery mood by Blaine and when Blaine smiled, Kurt smiled.

Things had been going pretty well the last few weeks. Kurt and Blaine had talked more in class, in fact they were nearly inseparable in the three classes they had together. Sadly this positivity didn't transfer over to the rest of Kurt's high school life. He was feeling more alone despite sitting with Rachel and friends most days, he didn't seem to click right with any of them, and his class was slowly starting to hate him. He didn't know why this was happening, he just didn't fit in and seemed to be drifting further and further apart from everyone. Kurt didn't feel comfortable raising the issue with Blaine so he kept it to himself, the loneliness starting to burn a hole in his chest. The one time he didn't feel like this though, was sitting beside Blaine, his warm body angled in his direction, his curly hair flowing over his face and his eyes shining right into Kurt's. He liked seeing this side of Blaine, not the moody stereotypical teenager side that everyone saw, but this Blaine, _his_ Blaine. The one that discussed the movie he watched last night in great deal, or the book he is reading, or something funny he saw on the Internet. For those few hours, Kurt felt special. Like his place was right beside Blaine.

"Soooooo, what are you doing Saturday night?" Blaine asked nervously. He was biting his lip and his eyes kept darting around the room. It was very unnerving. Kurt's heart suddenly started racing. Was this a date? Was he asking him out? Was this real life? Kurt shrugged, trying not to show how excited he was. "Oh, nothing planned. Just me and my book if things work out how they usually do."

"Well that movie we both wanted to see is on at the outdoor cinema if you want to go with me? We could do a picnic or something?"

Kurt couldn't believe it. He nodded his head rapidly. Before he could get a word out though, the bell rang.

"Um, can I have your number and we can organise it later?" Blaine asked. Kurt typed his number into Blaine's phone and then they both went on their way, waving goodbye before leaving in separate directions.

XXXXXXXXX

Later that night Kurt was in his room working on his maths homework and thinking about Blaine when he got a text, he ran and jumped on his bed, nearly banging his head on the headboard in his haste to read it. He was yet to hear from Blaine about Saturday. But, oh, it was just Rachel asking him if he has done the history essay yet. He rolls his eyes; it was due yesterday, and types out his answer. _Yes. _She replies back moments later.

**Shit, I haven't started. The teacher is going to kill me. -R. **

_Sucks to be you. -K._

**Kurt, please can I just copy yours, change some of the words. -R.** At this Kurt hmphed angrily. This wasn't some 10-minute maths work; this was a long essay that he put hard work into.

_No. -K. _

Kurt shook his head angrily and went back to his homework. A few minutes later it bleeped again.

**Kurt, I need you to help me. I would do the same for you and if you don't you will regret it. Just give me your homework, friends help each other out. -R.**

Kurt was outraged, anger was bubbling in his chest. How dare she? It wasn't his problem that she neglected her work. He wasn't sure what Rachel's threat meant but he was sure he could take it. He had morals, and he wasn't giving her the essay just because she demanded it. He typed back a reply, overcome by his anger.

_How dare you Rachel, I am not scared of the threats. Do your worst. And do your homework yourself. -K._

Kurt sort of regretted it once he sent it, knowing he should have not replied and stirred up trouble but Rachel also needed to know that was not okay, she cant use him for his homework. _Well I'm going to find a new place to hangout_, Kurt said to himself. He didn't receive any texts for the rest of the night, which disappointed Kurt big time. He went through all the possibilities, maybe he put his number in wrong, maybe Blaine lost it, perhaps he didn't want to text him after all and it was all a huge joke. The thoughts became more irrational through out the night at Kurt lay awake, too anxious to sleep, staring blankly at the ceiling. It was 3am when his phone went off. _Please don't be Rachel, please don't be Rachel_, Kurt chanted over and over as his hand blindly groped his bedside table until he felt his phone. Sitting up and putting his glasses on, Kurt opened the text.

_**Hey, you awake? Blaine. **_

It's him! It's him! It's him! Kurt did a little happy dance in his bed before typing out an answer.

_Yep. What brings you here this late hour of the night? –K. _

Kurt sat there clutching his phone, waiting for a reply.

_**Insomnia. How was your afternoon? –B**_

_Got into a fight over text with Rachel, wasn't pretty. Dreading school tomorrow. –K_

_**That sucks, she can be scary when she wants to be. Good luck. –B**_

Kurt frowned, that definitely made him feel even more uneasy then he did before. Crap. _Maybe I should have just let her copy my damn paper. _Kurt shrugged, too late now and he wasn't going to go back on what he said.

_Thanks. Did you mean what you said today about Saturday night? –K_

_**Yeah, do you want to go? –B**_

_Definitely. Should I meet you there? –K_

_**Okay, do you want to do the picnic idea? –B**_

_I'll bring the food and you can bring desert and drinks. Deal? –K_

_**Deal. –B**_

Kurt didn't really know what to reply to that so he just put is phone back on the table beside him, took his glasses off and decided it was time to go to sleep. *

XXXXXXXXX

The morning didn't go too badly by Kurt's standards. He didn't see Blaine and Rachel kept shooting him nasty glances from across the room but it wasn't as bad as it could have been. He put his headphones in and hummed to himself, pretending that since he had things in his ears, he couldn't see the looks he was getting. Now it was time for PE, a class that while typically was painful for Kurt because Blaine didn't socialise with him apart from that one race a few weeks ago (that gave Kurt butterflies when he thought about it) and today they had to play soccer. Not only did Kurt have to run through mud, but they had to team up. The teacher decided that it would be a really good idea to let the kids pick the teams. So two people stood at the front, calling names of people in his class until, of course, he was the last one left. Rachel was standing beside one of the team captains, Finn and was controlling all his choices. The other team was lead by David, one of the meatheads calling Kurt names and was unfortunately friends with Blaine. Blaine was in team two but seemed to pay no attention to what was happening, his face was composed into its usual bored expression and he was picking grass repetitively. Kurt was looking at his curly hair being tangled by the wind and imagining what it to be like to run his hands through them. He too focused on this activity to notice that both teams started to walk to separate sides of the field, not even bothering to add him to either of the teams, as if he was invisible, not a part of the class. He looked at the teacher expectantly, wanting her to say that he didn't have to play since no one clearly wanted him but teachers never tend to do what you want them to, so Kurt was placed on Finn and Rachel's team. Great.

Kurt noticed one of Rachel's good friends Quinn walking over to him with a bitch glare on her face. He felt icy just looking at her and wouldn't look her in the eye in case he froze him with her mind or something. He had a hunch she was capable of evil things. He should have realised that when he was rude to Rachel, he wasn't going to get crap just from her but her wide circle of friends too. He should have made more of an effort to talk to them when he sat with them at lunch. Crap, well too late now. He stood his ground while he waited for Quinn to finish her walk over to him and say what she wanted to say.

After what felt like several decades, Quinn brushed past him, saying loudly "no one wants you Hummel, go stand on the side alone. Your rightful place." Chuckles were heard from the class and Kurt's cheeks burned red with embarrassment. He looked around at the group; no one seemed to disagree with Quinn. Kurt looked around for Blaine, hoping to find comfort in him but he was murmuring to a friend on the other side of the field and seemed not to notice the exchange. Tears burned in Kurt's eyes, and in that moment he truly felt worthless. But fuck them, Kurt played the stupid game anyway, not letting anyone tell him what to do and got a few decent kicks in. He walked away with his head held high, hiding the shame, smothering it under a front of dignity.

That night, after waking up at 5am to get a glass of water Kurt checked his phone and saw that he had one new message. He opened it cautiously.

_**They are such assholes. –B**_

He smiled at Blaine's attempt at comfort and replied:

_Indeed. –K_


	6. Part I: Chapter 5

The week has been an incredible one for Kurt. Despite feeling like his class hates him, he has become closer and closer with Blaine. During class they sit together, sometimes talking and sometimes just enjoying each other's company. Outside of school they are texting constantly, late into the night. Sharing secrets, memories inane chatter. They made plans for Saturday night and Kurt couldn't wait. It was Friday now and he only had one more day to get to before The Date. Actually, Kurt had no idea if it was a date or not, Blaine never specified and he didn't want to be presumptuous. They were going to meet at the park at 6pm with food, blankets and drinks. The film started at 8pm. Kurt was ridiculously excited. He had never been on a date before, never kissed a boy, never held hands. And he couldn't imagine someone better to share these firsts with than Blaine.

Sadly, no matter how special Blaine made Kurt feel, intentionally or not, it didn't change the way the class acted around him. He was shot evil glances, side looks of disgust whenever he answered a question in class. During lunch he sat alone in the library. He wished he could be with Blaine but his friends hated Kurt, and it was better not to ask at all rather than be rejected, in Kurt's view.

Friday morning Kurt bounced into class, he liked to show the class he didn't care what they thought, especially Rachel who had encouraged the classes actions. He sat down on the stool; Blaine hadn't arrived yet so he waited expectantly, looking at the door. Class didn't start for another five minutes but you were allowed to come in and sit in your seats rather than wait outside so all of the class was mostly there already. Finally, as the bell rang, Blaine wandered in. He was never in any rush to get anywhere. His entire demeanour was polar opposites to Kurt's uptight anxious one but they had so much in common and got along so well that it didn't matter. They complemented each other. Blaine saw Kurt looking at him and gave him a smile as he made his way to the back of the room, but before he could take a step past the front row his friends had grabbed him and were talking to him in hushed angry voices. He saw one of them point at Kurt, Blaine looked to where he was pointing and bit his lip in conflict. He turned back to his friends and said something angrily. Kurt was so frustrated he couldn't hear what was happening, it was obviously about him but edging closer might be a bit obvious. He just waited for Blaine to come over to tell him what happened but he didn't. He watched Blaine nod and take a seat next to his friends without a glance back at Kurt. He felt hurt at Blaine's betrayal. He hated how easily you could be forced to conform through peer pressure. It made him shake with rage. But Kurt concentrated on his work then stormed out at the end of the lesson.

This continued on for the rest of the day, Blaine would start to make his way towards Kurt then stop suddenly, almost robotically, and change his path so he was sitting next to his friends instead. Kurt was sick of this stupidity and by Friday afternoon he decided to confront him, so after class he left quickly then waited outside, hoping to catch Blaine alone. He managed to corner him before Blaine even realised what was happening.

"What the hell Blaine?" Kurt near shouted.

"Sorry Kurt, I have been spending heaps of time with you lately and just needed to sit with my other friends." Blaine gave him a sad but hopeful smile complete with shiny puppy eyes. Kurt wanted to mention how he spent plenty of time with them during lunch and other classes but decided he would come off as needy so just asked:

"Are we still on for tomorrow?"

"Um, yeah I guess, sure." Blaine answered hesitantly. It didn't really comfort Kurt but he had given him an answer so Kurt nodded, and said goodbye before walking home. _God I wish I just blended in with his friends, just be 'one of the guys'. What is it about me that they hate?_ Kurt questioned himself on his walk. His posture has slumped, his shoulders and expression sagging, a direct opposite to what it was when he arrived that morning. _Shake it off Kurt, screw them. You are going to a movie with the guys you like tomorrow and no one can take that away from you._

Later that night Kurt got a text from Blaine, it was his first one all day and it was making Kurt very paranoid. _Did his friends turn him against me?_ _Does he hate me; does he think I am a loser?_ Kurt was sure that this text was going to be Blaine bailing on him. But after five minutes of staring at his phone he decided he might as well look at it.

_**Hey Kurt, looking forward to tomorrow. I am so sorry for today, school just sucks you know? I hate it; I hate how some kids have so much power over me. I am weak, I know. I hope you can forgive me. –B**_

Kurt read the text over and over again before replying. He hated seeing how hopeless Blaine sounded.

_I understand Blaine. I am looking forward to tomorrow too. Rest up and stop thinking about school. It's the weekend! –K_

Kurt tried to lighten the mood with his text but he had the feeling that Blaine wasn't easily cheered up. They exchanged a few more texts before saying goodbye for the night. Blaine was going to a friend's house for some drinks and Kurt had to pick his outfit for tomorrow night. Small bubbles of excitement burst through Kurt's chest at the thought of tomorrow. He couldn't wait.

XXXXXXXXX

It is 8am on a Saturday and Kurt is already awake. He has had a shower, finished his morning routine and is now sitting on the couch, bouncing his foot anxiously up and down, staring into space. Kurt isn't a very patient person and he knows this day is going to drag on. He decides to do some baking while he is waiting and start making the quiche and sandwiches he is bringing tonight. Finally, the day has been killed and it is time to leave. Kurt packs everything into a basket, puts on his chosen outfit complete with scarf because it gets very cold at night and grabs a blanket from the cupboard. Once he arrives at the park, his dad having dropped him off, he gets a text from Blaine saying where he is sitting. Kurt follows his directions, scanning the crowed for the boy with curly brown hair and stops when he sees him. Blaine is lying on a red rug with a pillow under his head and one beside him, for Kurt he assumes. Kurt swoons at the sight of him and picks up his pace so he can make it to him sooner.

"Hey," Kurt says anti-climatically. Suddenly Kurt feels very unsure, he is Standing awkwardly with his blanket and food and not knowing what to do next. But luckily for him, Blaine stands up and wraps his arms around him in one of the best hugs Kurt has ever had. Kurt nuzzles his nose into Blaine's neck and closes his eyes, taking in as much of the feeling of this as possible. _God he smells awesome._ Blaine lets go, far too soon for Kurt's liking, and stands there looking Kurt in the eye.

"Hi," Blaine replies simply. "Sit, I brought us some soda, I wasn't sure what type you liked so I hope this is okay. And I have some desert and snacks for the movie." Blaine looked very shy and unsure; it took Kurt by surprise, as he had never seen him like this. _Maybe he is just as scared as I am. _

Blaine and Kurt spent the next two hours laughing, eating and talking. Kurt was having an amazing time, he felt in complete bliss. By the time the movie started, Blaine was lying down on the blanket beside Kurt, with a few inches of space between them. Kurt wanted to snuggle up to Blaine, rest his head on his shoulder and tangle their legs together but he wasn't sure if it would be appropriate so instead, as the movie played, he edged his hand closer and closer to Blaine's, which was lying at his side. Eventually their hands were touching, and before Kurt could actually get the courage to grab is hand, Blaine slid his hand into Kurt's and intertwined their fingers silently. Kurt's mouth slid into a grin as he felt Blaine's hand in his. _Perfect, absolutely perfect. _

Once the movie was over Blaine and Kurt packed up all their things slowly, wanting to stretch out the time together. Kurt knew this little bubble they were in would pop once they got back to school. Blaine led Kurt over to where his dad's car was waiting but stopped just far enough away that his dad wouldn't be able to see them. Blaine stopped and turned to face Kurt, intertwining their fingers again. Blaine looked at Kurt in the eye and Kurt could feel his heart racing. _Was this it? Was he going to kiss me?_

"Kurt, thank you for tonight I had an amazing time with you." Then Blaine leaned in close, never letting his eyes stray from Kurt's face and pressed his lips delicately to Kurt's for a second before leaning back. He gave Kurt's fingers one more squeeze before leaving. Kurt's eyes fluttered open; he couldn't believe what just happened. His first kiss! And with **Blaine.** He felt magical, on top of the world. He quietly slid into his dad's car and stayed silent, replaying the night and the kiss over and over. The dopey grin on his face felt permanent. _Blaine kissed me. _Blaine_ kissed _me.

When he got home he put everything away, changed into his pyjamas' and crawled into bed. _Wow._ Kurt heard his phone go off and knew it would be Blaine texting him. He opened up the message quickly; eager to read it's contents.

_**I had an amazing night Kurt. But I hope you realise this doesn't change anything; I can't be seen with you at school. I want us to be friends but I cant let me group know about it. Sorry. –B**_

Crushed. That was really the only was to describe how Kurt felt when he read Blaine's text. Tears fell from his eyes and dripped down his face. Kurt stared at the message so long the screen went black and his vision went blurry. After awhile he put down his phone and slid between his sheets. Kurt closed his eyes and one thought slipped to the forefront of his mind. _I wasn't good enough for him anyway._


	7. Part I: Chapter 6

**A/N Thank you everyone who has read and reviewed my story thus far. This chapter was so hard to write because it was so immensely personal and brought back a lot of unpleasant memories. **

The next school day after Blaine and Kurt's date then Blaine's subsequent rejection of Kurt was very unsettling for Kurt. He wasn't sure what was going to happen that day, whether Blaine would bring up the weekend, whether they would skirt around the issue and go back to normal. But Kurt needn't had worried because Blaine did not talk to him at all. Nor did he sit with him or acknowledge him in anyway. And in the 3 months following that day, they have not talked face to face at all. They do not say hi or nod or smile at each other. To the class, it looks as if they were not friends. But in the privacy of their phones you would find hundreds upon hundreds of messages back and forth between the two. When they were bored during class, after school, late at night and on weekends they would whip their phones out and talk. They never talked about anything too person, nothing about their relationship and never about school but nothing else was off limits. Blaine talked about how alone and isolated he felt at home, his parents not really caring about his behaviour, where he was and what he got up to. Kurt would listen to Blaine's problems and try to help him find some solutions and peace. But Blaine was getting sadder and sadder, getting harder on himself and his family, drinking alcohol in rebellion and as an escape. Blaine only ever confided in Kurt, no one else knew of his home struggles and this was weighing on Kurt. Blaine never realized how his problems were affecting Kurt, and they definitely were. Kurt spent days and nights constantly worrying about Blaine, he wouldn't get much sleep, he would lie in bed thinking of him, and how he could make it better. The constant dark thoughts and unnecessary guilt on Kurt's mind caused him to sink lower and lower until depression was imminent. His family could see his struggles but didn't know how to help him.

Kurt was still bullied and alienated at school, he was an outcast. His peer's eyes would glaze past him, not giving him a second thought, unless it was a push out of the way. And this came to a head 6 months after school began. It was a Monday morning late February when Kurt arrived early to school, earlier than normal because he was anxious to hand in an assignment and also knowing that the sooner he arrived at school the sooner he could see Blaine. They may not talk face to face but seeing him in the flesh makes his friendship with Blaine so much more real. Once Kurt arrived he walked straight into his first period classroom, usually people had already wandered in and were sitting down talking to their friends but he was the first to arrive that day so he took his seat and grabbed his book, knowing people would be arriving soon.

Twenty minutes later Kurt looked up from his book confused. Class was starting in five minutes and he was the only one in the room. He panicked, irrational thoughts running through his brain: _what if there is no school today? Am I in the wrong room? Do we have assembly? _But then Kurt heard noises coming from outside the open door; he peaked around the door and saw his whole class standing there.

"Um, why isn't anyone coming inside?" He asked a girl in his class. She shrugged,

"I don't know, everyone was just out here when I arrived."

"So you just followed?" Kurt asked angrily. He was in a class full of Goddamned sheep. Suddenly everyone started making their way into the classroom as if they suddenly realized they could go in. Kurt didn't understand why they didn't go in before, they always hung out in the classroom early. What changed about today? Suddenly it dawned on him, it was him. They didn't go into the class because he was there. Tears rushed into his eyes and he quickly blinked them away. He had never felt more alone in his life. The metaphoric separation between him and his class became a physical one when someone decided they didn't want to sit in a room with Kurt, and everyone else followed, even Blaine, who he saw trailing in after everyone else.

Kurt stood outside of the classroom, frozen, thinking for a few moments until he made a decision. He brushed away the tears that were still falling and made his way back into the classroom. He started packing away his book and his stationary he had already gotten out. A girl sitting next to him leaned over and hissed, "What are you doing? You can't leave!"

"Let me ask you a question," Kurt said in response "Do I belong here, in this class, with these people?"

The girl turned to face him and answered honestly, "No, you don't." And that was all the confirmation he needed because he grabbed his bag and left the class silently but with as much force as he could muster. He kept walking until he got to the steps outside the school and he sat down gasping. Kurt began crying and hyperventilating simultaneously. He grabbed his phone out of his bag with shaking hands and sent out a text to his mother.

_I can't do this anymore mom, I'm miserable. Can you please pick me up? –K_

She sent back a reply only a minute later.

**I'm on my way. **

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Kurt spent the next week off school, a 'mental health week' his mother called it. He was going back the next Monday into another class with different people on the other side of the school. Him and Blaine continued to text through out the wee. He had sent him a message Monday afternoon asking about the incident that morning but since then neither of them mentioned it. Kurt just wanted to move on. The only thing he didn't want to change was his relationship with Blaine, he would miss seeing him everyday but hoped they would still be just as close even with Kurt in a different place. He really liked Blaine, he wanted to date him, to kiss him, to hold hands with him but he knew that wasn't possible, Blaine couldn't do a relationship with all the stuff at home going on. But he couldn't help but dream that one day, when they escape this school and this town they will do it together. So for now, Kurt was content texting him daily and him appearing in his dreams instead. He knew that it was better for Blaine that, for now, they would just remain friends.

**A/N: **

**Guest: You don't have a logon so I can't reply to you in a PM but I really wanted to respond to your lovely review. Thank you for reviewing, I know how Kurt feels because this story is semi-autobiographical, I was Kurt all through high school, I know how loneliness feels even when you are sitting with a group of people like Kurt was in the first few chapters. I know how isolating high school is and I know a lot of people can relate to what Kurt and what I went through. It **_**does**_** get better and sometimes you have to make the best out of a bad situation. Rachel and Dave among the rest of the characters (including Blaine to some extent) are based on people in my own experience, but I have since made up with them and they apologized. I sincerely believe them because some apologized 5 years later, carrying the guilt for those years despite me getting over it long ago. Again, thank you for your review and reading the story. **

**If anyone else wants to talk to me about your experiences or ask me about mine, I would be happy to talk about it. Either on here or on my Tumblr (thereisthismoment). **


	8. Part I: Chapter 7

Kurt was settling in well to his new classroom, he continued to sit alone as everyone in the class had already made friends and there were no spare seats beside anyone but the vibe and warmth that surrounded the classroom made Kurt seem much safer and happier. At the beginning he was worried that running away from his problems was not the best idea but soon realised that the pros of running far outweighed the cons. It was a few weeks on from the incident, the final straw, and Kurt and Blaine were still talking everyday little it be known to everyone else. Blaine was feeling a bit better about his home life, Kurt assumed because he never talked about it anymore. Kurt still was extremely attracted to Blaine, he thought about him constantly, every little thing reminded him of Blaine and he showed up regularly in his dreams. It was getting harder and harder for Kurt to hold back and stay friends with Blaine because he wanted more so badly but Kurt wasn't bold enough to approach him about it and decided until Blaine asked him out. He decided that Blaine must like him, he did kiss him first. Despite being each other's closest confidant, they skirt around the issue of relationships, who liked whom and their date. They stuck to simple subjects like movies, books and homework mostly unless Blaine was really bad, then they would talk about him. But those texts and conversations were so important to Kurt, his relationship with Blaine was extremely precious to him, they made him giddy with excitement when he saw his name pop up on his phone and when he is feeling down (which was occurring more and more frequently lately) he would look back over his many favourite messages from Blaine and smile to himself, knowing that Blaine cared for him. Kurt wished they could be together but he knew the timing wasn't right for Blaine, he had his own personal issues and Kurt was content to wait.

It was a Saturday night, a few weeks after The Incident and Kurt was sitting in his room watching a movie on his laptop when he got a text. He smiled when he heard the sound, knowing it was Blaine.

**Hey, how is your weekend going? –B**

_Good, watching that movie you were talking about last week. It is really good. What have you been up to? –K_

Kurt smiled as he sent the text; he loved knowing that Blaine was thinking about him. He got a reply back soon after:

**Eventful. I got myself a girlfriend ;) –B**

Those six words almost stopped Kurt's heart. He stared at the screen, frozen. He felt like his stomach dropped out of his ass and his heart was trying to escape from his chest. He couldn't believe it. He felt so _hurt. _He knew Blaine wasn't his, and he was giving him space but a _girlfriend._ He felt betrayed, deceived, distressed and unbelievably sad. He sat still for a while, not sure how to reply.

_Oh. –K_

He sent it off. He wasn't sure if he should play it off like he didn't care and was happy for him or show his true feelings. He chose the latter. Kurt assumed that Blaine knew him well enough to see through the text that he was upset. He spent the next few minutes tapping his fingers anxiously on the phone, waiting for a reply. The one that came was a bit too simple for Kurt's liking, it didn't reveal much.

**Oh? –B**

Now it was Kurt's turn to reply, should he take the leap and tell him how he feels or play it off like he is happy for him? He spent the next half an hour fighting and wondering around the room, writing and deleting messaged before he sent them. The anxiety kept building and Kurt wasn't able to focus on anything other than Blaine. He wished he didn't have to have this conversation over text, he would prefer face to face, where they could see each other's expressions, read the emotions and have a proper conversation. Texting felt so passive aggressive to Kurt, but it was the best he was going to get for now, he didn't know where Blaine lived (and Blaine was probably out partying anyway) and he wasn't brave enough to call him. Eventually he decided to bite the bullet and send him the text that he wanted to and suffer the consequences later. Kurt's hands shook as he wrote out the message over and over again until he was happy enough with it to send.

_I'm happy that you have found someone; actually no I'm not. I wanted it to be me. Why couldn't it? I am there for you always, we talk every chance we get and I really like you and I know you like me back. Why wont you give me the chance to be your boyfriend? –K_

_And now I wait_ thought Kurt.

XXXXXXXXXX

Kurt must have drifted off to sleep at some point, waiting for a reply. He woke up at 4:15am to a storm outside the window. He immediately checked his phone, the anxiety building in his chest. _One new message._ This message could make or break him. He sat there contemplating it for a while longer before taking a very large breath, biting his lip and he opened the text.

**Kurt, I'm sorry but I can't. I don't want to ruin our friendship. –B**

Kurt chuckled humourlessly as he read the message over and over, shaking his head. He sent back a reply, hoping that Blaine was still awake and would reply. Another reason he hated conversations through text, they took way too long. Face to face you got your reply immediately.

_I don't care! Take the chance! You are being a wimp, how do you expect to go anywhere in life if you wont take a leap? –K_

Kurt knew he was being harsh but he was angry, Blaine's excuse was pathetic and cliché. Surprisingly, it seemed Blaine was awake because the reply came back only minutes later while Kurt was lying on his bed staring blankly at the ceiling.

**I have a girlfriend Kurt and she is funnier, smarter and more attractive than you will ever be. It is not going to happen. –B**

A loud crashing noise was made when Kurt through his phone at the wall, it ricochet of the wall and landed with a thump on the floor, screen cracked and black. If you examined the wall, you would see a small hole made by the phone and some of the paint had pealed off when the phone collided with the wall but Kurt couldn't really give a crap. He was crying hard, sobbing really, face down into his pillow, throwing things round occasionally, like his lamp, or a CD or his arms. He was angry, hurt, embarrassed, upset, wounded, humiliated, mortified and defeated. He kept coming up with synonyms to describe his emotions in order to keep his mind off Blaine and that text. _How could Blaine say that to me? How dare he? But was it true? Does he really think that little of me?_ Clearly the word naming exercise wasn't working because Kurt couldn't stop those thought from running through his head. 'Funnier, smarter and more attractive', those words kept appearing in his head making him feel less and less worthy and pretty damn crap about him self. He continued to throw thinks around the room, but lighter things like pillows in order to not wake anyone up. It was a miracle they hadn't heard the crashing noises. Eventually Kurt tired himself out and curled up in his bed, tucking his sheets around him and wound himself into a ball, his arms around his legs, hugging them to his chest. He let out small sobbing noises occasionally until he finally fell asleep.

XXXXXXXXX

The next few days were spent moping. He spent Sunday in his room and pleaded sick on Monday to avoid school. He spent the day buried in his bed; reading and eating all the snack foods he could get his hands on. He was done feeling angry and was going through the victim stage, brooding and sulking. He hadn't replied to Blaine's message and didn't plan to. His phone was still working, miraculously, so Monday night he deleted Blaine's number and all of his messages off the phone then spent several hours going through an extensive beauty regime to get rid of the red, puffy look from his swollen eyes. He drifted off to sleep detirmined never to talk to Blaine again. And for awhile, it worked.


	9. Part I: Chapter 8

**A/N: Warning for male/male underage sexy times. And I apologise because 1) I have never written anything vaguely resembling smut before 2) I am not a gay male so I do not know exactly how it works. So thanks for bearing with me and possibly cringing. Hopefully I will get better. **

It is late March and still quite cold despite winter coming to a close. Blaine and Kurt have not mentioned the weekend where Kurt confesses his attraction and Blaine responds in quite possibly the rudest fashion imaginable. Through the grapevine Kurt hears that Blaine and his girlfriend have broken up. The news doesn't excite Kurt as he thought it would, possibly because girlfriend or no, Blaine still wouldn't be interested in him. Since that awful conversation a few weeks ago, Blaine has not contacted Kurt and Kurt has made no effort to contact him either. In fact, Kurt is trying to put Blaine out of his mind entirely because thinking about him just makes Kurt sad. He now knows why unrequited love his so tragic and why a crush is called a crush. He continues to mope frequently and berate himself for making a fool out of himself confessing his feeling. Of _course _Blaine wouldn't reciprocate. _I'm plain, boring and not anywhere as interesting as Blaine is._ Depressing thoughts ran through his head frequently and he would criticize himself constantly.

One Sunday evening, Kurt was home alone, his parents away for the night. He was sitting in his room in baggy worn clothes listening to some music when he heard a knock on the door. His heart began to thud, who would be down there? A serial killer? Kurt wondered if these were his last moments until he realised a killer or burglar wouldn't knock. He crept down the stairs and hovered by the door. Kurt stood on his toes and peaked out the peephole. He saw a silhouette of a man with curly hair soaking wet from the rain that was pouring down outside. _Who in the hell? _Kurt slowly opened the door and peered around it to see Blaine. Wet, lost looking and very sad. Kurt's heart leapt and hurt seeing him like that. Wearing a tee shirt, a light jumper and jeans that were all soaked through, clinging to his body. Kurt managed to peal his eyes of his body to notice that Blaine wasn't wearing shoes. He swung the door open fully while he assessed him. _What the hell is he doing here? _Kurt voiced those thoughts to Blaine while standing with his arms crossed, a disgruntled expression on my face.

"I'm sorry," Blaine said pathetically, his voice croaking, "I had nowhere else to go." Kurt softened, putting his arm around Blaine and leading him inside his bedroom. He gave him some of his clothes and some privacy to change. Once he was done, Kurt moved to sit beside him on the bed.

"What happened?" Kurt asked, taking a seat beside Blaine, careful not to lean to closely so the wetness didn't transfer onto his clothes.

Blaine took a deep breath and pushed his curly hair out of his eyes. "I got into a big fight with my mum, it was about something stupid. We were screaming at each other and she told me to get out so I ran out of the house, forgetting a cell phone and shoes." Blaine looked down at his feet then continued, "I remember you telling me ages ago that if I was ever in trouble I could come over and you gave me intructions about how to get here. So I walked." Kurt looked at him, horrified,

"That is a forty minute walk!" he exclaimed. No wonder Blaine was soaking. Blaine shrugged.

"I didn't really notice. I just kept walking. Kurt, I just want to say how sorry I am for those things I said to you. I was awful and it was uncalled for." Blaine looked Kurt in the eye, turning to face him with their face inches apart. "You are a wonderful, kind human being that anyone would be lucky to have. Will you forgive me?" Blaine's eyes shone with sadness and sincerity. Kurt nodded in his head, accepting Blaine's apology. How could he not, the man was adorable! And suddenly, in a move that was very unKurt like, he moved his head forward until his lips were pressed to Blaine's. He was surprised at first at how cold they were but began to move his lips enthusiastically until Blaine began to respond, taking Kurt's bottom lip between his and sucking on it. Kurt brought his hands up and cupped Blaine's cheeks, pressing harder into the kiss. Blaine's tongue began to peak out after a few moments, asking permission into Kurt's mouth. Kurt accepted, opening his mouth and meeting Blaine's tongue with his own. Blaine pushed Kurt backward on the bed so he was lying on his back and Blaine brought his leg onto the other side of Kurt so he was straddling him, sitting on his hips. Blaine pressed himself even further into the kiss while rocking his hips against Kurt's. Kurt gasped at the sensation, his thin pants leaving not very much to the imagination. Blaine bucked again as him mouth left Kurt's and trailed down his neck. He stopped for a minute to pull Kurt's shirt over his head and his followed too. Blaine lay flat on Kurt so they could feel the skin-to-skin contact of their chests touching. Blaine started kissing around Kurt's jaw line as he continued to buck against Kurt. The sensation of Blaine's cock rubbing against Kurt's, even through several layers of cotton, was too much for Kurt and his orgasm ripped through him. Blaine continued to rock his hips harder and faster into Kurt's until he too fell over the edge into ecstasy.

They lay there for a while, breathing heavily. Stunned by what happened, so quickly it seemed. Eventually Kurt got up quietly looking over to see that Blaine had fallen asleep. Kurt ran his hand through Blaine's curly lock of hair then pulled the sheets on his bed over him so that Blaine would be comfortable and warm when he awoke. Kurt went into his bathroom and had a shower to clean himself up changing his pants then curling up next to Blaine in bed. Kurt lay there for a while. He couldn't believe what just happened. It happened so fast but it was so perfect, Blaine's lips on his felt like home. Kurt closed his eyes and for the first time in a very long time, he fell asleep with a smile on his face.

XXXXXXXXX

Next thing Kurt new, it was morning. 6am and his alarm was going off very loudly. He rolled over to shut it off and then suddenly remembered the night before. His eyes slammed open and he looked to where Blaine was lying when he fell a sleep to see a cold empty bed. Blaine was long gone. Kurt frowned and checked his phone to see that he had one new message from Blaine. He opened it slowly, taking his time, his hands shaking. He wasn't sure he wanted to know what it said.

**Kurt, I am sorry for last night. We can't speak of it again; it was a one-time thing. I meant what I said about being sorry for what I said. Please don't mention last night to anyone ever. I think it was better if we didn't see each other for a while. –B**

Tears ran down Kurt's face as he reread the message over and over again. But then abruptly and suddenly he sat up and stubbornly decided that _screw Blaine. _Kurt got up, got changed and went to school determinedly. He passed Blaine in the hall but did not say anything or look his way. Did not acnologe his presence. He breezed passed. Kurt vowed then that he would not spare another thought about Blaine Anderson or another wistful glance his way. Never again. Someone who would use him for a make out session and a way to get off rather than treating him with the respect he deserve did not merit Kurt Hummels attention.

And while during the day this vow stayed true, Kurt pushed Blaine out of his mind. Shedding no more tears for the selfish boy. But at night Kurt was haunted of dreams of Blaine. In the dreams Kurt and Blaine would be together, holding hands, kissing gently, smiling happily at each other and serenading each other with songs. Kurt wouldn't admit it to himself but late at night when he woke up crying, loneliness plaguing him, that he missed Blaine. He missed his attention, his smiles, and his opinions. And so one night at 5am in late May when Kurt picked up a pen and paper and penned a poem.

_I remember our days together, the good, the sad, and the wonderful._

_I remember that piggyback race, eyes closed, cheek to cheek. I cared about nothing else. _

_I remember our first dance, awkward, not quite holding hands. I still think of you when I hear that song._

_I remember the depression and how we talked each other out of it, late into the night._

_I remember running to school early every morning so I could be with you sooner._

_I remember when you said, "When we're older…" and I thought we would last that long._

_I remember my family problems and you talked me through it from 200 kilometres away. _

_I remember when you told me I wasn't smart enough, handsome enough, funny enough. _

_I remember when I couldn't stop talking about you; I thought I had finally found my someone._

_I remember when you told me I was your best friend, and that was all we would ever be._

_I remember the distance you put between us._

_I remember when everyone else said we belong together and I believed them._

_And I remember when you stopped talking to me. The depression came back and I cried every night. _

_I remember. Do you? _

The tears flowed as Kurt wrote the words, scribbling them out then rewriting until he was happy with the result. And then he sobbed, for the friendship he missed and for himself for being too trusting, too weak. But since that day, Kurt never shed another tear for Blaine Anderson.

**A/N: And there we go. Part I complete. Part II will kick off 3 years in the future. I really appreciate every one of you who has taken the time to read this story. But we are only half way done people! Now the fun starts. :) **


	10. Part II: Chapter 1

28 August 2012

Oh thank god, senior year. It is almost over. Kurt dragged his self into school, dragging his feet along the Lino, his face pulled into a pout. School sucks. Rachel swoops in, winding her arm around Kurt's elbow and walks along beside him with a beaming smile. "God, I missed school. Isn't it nice and comforting here?" Kurt rolled his eyes. How was she so perky?

"No." He grumbled. It was Rachel's turn to roll her eyes.

"Don't be such a sad sack. We get to see our friends-"

"Your friends" Kurt interrupted

"They are your friends too! You just need to make more of an effort in conversations. Anyway, there might be some new people. You could trick them into think you are social!" Rachel joked with an edge of truth.

Her and Kurt regained their friendship slowly. After Kurt's night with Blaine several years ago, which Kurt didn't think about **ever**, Kurt had fallen into a depression. In fact, he had been diagnosed with clinical depression and still took medication for it. Not that anyone bar the school nurse, counsellor and Rachel knew he was anything but just a little bit sad. Rachel noticed the changes in Kurt, even though they weren't in the same class anymore and they sought out mediation from the counsellor to get over their fight. Kurt didn't want to hold a grudge and knew he shouldn't push away anyone who was willing to be his friend so he reunited with Rachel and accepted her offer to sit with her friends again at lunch after warning them off saying anything rude to him. It was a relief for Kurt to have someone he could talk to and so slowly and tentatively, the two became friends. Unfortunately, like the beginning of freshman year, Kurt struggled to befriend Rachel's friends as Kurt felt uncomfortable around them but he decided it was better than sitting alone so he sat with them daily and silently listened to their conversations, occasionally partaking in one with Rachel. During the most recent summer Kurt and Rachel had spent a week on holiday together with Rachel's family and they would spend some time at each other's houses or at the mall or wandering the streets for the rest of the time. Sometimes Rachel's other friends hung out with them too but Kurt much preferred the twosome. The rest of the time Kurt had taken some English papers at a community college online to bump up his college application and to keep him busy. Despite his closeness with Rachel, he has never confided in her, or anyone else, what happened with Blaine. She had asked, saying they seemed so close and asked what change but Kurt just shrugged, saying that Blaine chose his friends over him and left it at that. That was the one time since he wrote that poem 2 and a half years ago that he has talked about or thought of Blaine. He tended to turn up in Kurt's dreams a lot, standing too far away for Kurt to reach, sometimes chasing him, sometimes Blaine was being hurt and Kurt had to save him. But in his conscious mind, he had let him go. He would occasionally see him at school, they hadn't had any classes together but he might brush past him on the way to class, neither of them acknowledging the other. Kurt had no idea if Blaine still thought about him or if he had any regrets about their freshman year and how their friendship ended and sometimes, late at night when he was woken up by a dream, when he could kid himself that he wasn't fully conscious, he would think about it.

Once the bell rang for the first class, Kurt squeezed Rachel's hand, giving her a small smile and said he would see her at lunch. Rachel always was a bit worried about Kurt, his eyes always looked sad, like someone ran over his puppy. Sometimes, briefly, there were a few moments of happiness. They were rare but Rachel loved when she saw them. They were usually when they were shopping or relaxing. She knew his illness, his depression, was extremely hard on him. He had vivid dreams almost daily and didn't have very many close friends. Rachel knew that once this year was over he would do extraordinary things. He was intelligent, thoughtful and an old soul. She vowed to be there for him until he didn't need her anymore. She felt extremely guilty for the mess she caused in their freshman year, it was extremely insensitive of her and she can't help but think that the depression was at least partially created by what she had caused. She was very grateful that Kurt had forgiven her for her immaturity.

XXXXXXX

It was Kurt's last class of the day: maths. He was reasonably okay at maths but he had his teacher last year and he was annoying. The rest of his classes leading up to this one had not been very interesting, just talking about the rest of the year. Kurt headed into class and was very happy to see that not many people had arrived yet so he had his choice of seats. That was the one important part of the first day, choosing where you would sit for the rest of the year. It was no easy task and Kurt hovered around a few chairs before he decided on a window seat near the back left hand side of the classroom. Perfect. He sat down and pulled out his book, figuring it would be more entertaining then waiting for his teacher and the rest of the students to arrive and class to sit. While reading, he pondered weather he would want someone to sit next to him. On one hand, it was a chance for him to make a friend. On the other hand, he really enjoyed being left alone. The decision was taken off his hands when the chair slid out from under the desk with an annoying squeaking sound and someone sat down with a thump, their bag banging on the desk. Suddenly, the hair on Kurt's arms stood up as if something had triggered it. He snuck a peak at the person sitting next to him, he could feel their eyes on him and he was curious as to who chose the seat beside him when there were still empty ones in the room. His eyes flicked over to take in the boy and then they widened. It was Blaine.

_Why the hell is he sitting with me? We were doing a pretty good job ignoring each other. Should I say something? No Kurt play it cool, play it cool. _Frantic thoughts raced through Kurt's mind when he noticed it was Blaine. He decided that he would go back to reading his book and play it off like he hadn't seen him or he didn't care. Kurt couldn't actually focus on his book so he just looked in its general area, turning the page every few minutes so it looked like he was actually doing something constructive. Blaine has really grown up. He hadn't had a proper, good look at him since freshmen year, and he tended to look at his feet whenever he walked past him. But Blaine has tamed his curls, slicking them back with a little bit of gel with a few stray hairs breaking free. A cardigan, polo shirt and black trousers have replaced his usual outfit of a black hoodie and baggy jeans. Kurt approved. When he snuck a look at Blaine's face (who was still looking directly at him), he noticed his eyes were lighter than they used to be, not in terms of colour, but emotion. Like he had a weight lifted off his shoulders. Maybe his family problems were solved in the few years since they talked. Thinking about Blaine again wasn't as hard or as painful as Kurt assumed it would be. There was a bit of anger and hurt but mainly he just missed him. And his heart couldn't help but beat faster with his close proximity. Old habits die hard, Kurt supposed.

Class had begun and Kurt and Blaine had yet to say a word to each other but they both, not so subtly, kept glancing at each other. Finally, 30 minutes in Blaine leaned over and whispered to Kurt so the teacher wouldn't notice, "I like the book you are reading. It's one of my favourites." Blaine then straightened up and went on with copying down what the teacher had written on the board. Kurt was frozen in place, a blush spreading up his neck at the feeling of Blaine's hot breath tickling his face. He turned to Blaine, "Thanks," he murmured while still hunched over his desk, he had better respect for personal boundaries then Blaine. They continued on with their work. At the end of the lesson, Kurt silently packed up his things and stood, facing Blaine. He attempted to move round him but Blaine spun round to face him. He smiled at Kurt, a little bit sadly but full of hope. "I've done a lot of growing up Kurt and I miss our friendship. I hope I haven't crossed the line by sitting next to you. See you tomorrow." Without waiting for a response he turned around and headed for the door. Kurt sighed and left too.

XXXXXXXXXX

Kurt lay on his bed later that afternoon thinking about what Blaine said. Did he want to be friends again? Will it be freshman year 2.0? Blaine screwing with his heart and then leaving him there to pick up the pieces? His depression was bad enough already; he didn't think he could go through that again, he was a lot more cautious with whom he trusted after he gave his heart to Blaine. It took him a very long time to let Rachel in again and he still didn't trust her completely. Blaine had changed Kurt, and definitely not for the better. He made him tougher in a way someone who had been hurt and screwed around with was. So, should he trust him? No. Kurt knew that for sure. But maybe he should start of with a tentative friendship, give him a second chance. Kurt considered the idea for a while. Yes, he thought he could do that. But he set himself guidelines: Only talking face to face, no texting and no talking about each others personal lives. Strictly a 'hi, how are you do you get this maths problem' type of relationship. Kurt decided he would take the reins on the relationship and let Blaine know where he stood but he also decided not to dredge up the past. They were going to turn over a new leaf. Kurt knew they had both changed a lot, grew and changed as people, they couldn't just jump into friendship where they left off, they would have to rebuild it again.

XXXXXXXX

In school the next day Kurt went about his routine as normal. He didn't mention Blaine to Rachel, knowing she would get too excited and jump to conclusions. He didn't encounter Blaine until maths class. Blaine was already waiting in the same seat he was sitting in yesterday so Kurt walked over and sat down beside him. Turning to Blaine, he stuck out his arm in a way that implied Blaine should shake it.

"Hi, I'm Kurt Hummel." Blaine looked at him confused.

"I know." Kurt retracted his arm.

"You knew the young, fourteen year old Kurt. But you don't know me. But I am willing to let you."

"Let me what?"

"Get to know me."

"Oh okay," Blaine was surprised by Kurt's directness. "Thanks."

Kurt nodded and started pulling his books out and started working on what was on the board. Blaine stared at Kurt, inspecting him. Kurt raised an eyebrow, uncomfortable at the attention.

"What happened to you?" Blaine asked. He could see that Kurt has a lot more worn down but tougher. He didn't know how to describe it but he knew the Kurt in front of him was a lot less naïve then the one he used to know.

"You." Kurt answered honestly and matter-of-factly, continuing with his work. Blaine frowned and looked down to his lap, ashamed.

"I was an idiot, I took you for granted." Blaine muttered

"Yes you did."

The pair didn't talk for the rest of the lesson. But as they got up to leave when the bell rang, signalling the end of the lesson, Kurt spoke up, "Lets not think about the past, I am happy to move onwards and upwards. I want us to be friendly, with out all the tension." Blaine nodded, considered what Kurt said then smiled.

"Me too."


	11. Part II: Chapter 2

Blaine plopped down into the seat beside Kurt a few weeks into the term, he was grinning like an idiot and Kurt couldn't help but return the smile, seeing Blaine's joy.

"What?" Kurt asked. Blaine was not normally so animated, he was curious as to what made Blaine smile like that.

"I got my first A+ ever, in English!" Kurt smiled, proud of his friend and gave him a hug. It was the first physical contact they had made in a few years and it felt nice being in Blaine's arms, even if it was brief and strictly platonic. The two were slowly gaining a proper friendship they should have had the first time around. It wasn't about Kurt being a crutch for Blaine; it was a lot more equal.

"How is your day going?" Blaine asked as he and Kurt released themselves from the hug. Kurt shrugged, his eyes glazed over as he goes into a dark place inside his mind. If was telling the truth, he actually had a pretty crappy day. It was his birthday today, something he hadn't told anyone which was pretty stupid because he loved his birthday. He loved the excitement building up to it, how special and grateful you feel and impenetrable, like no one can break your buzz. But well, today wasn't going the way Kurt expected. Rachel was busy at lunch break and Kurt tended to avoid her friends when she wasn't with them because he felt uncomfortable around them, like he was being difficult and bothersome by being around them. Kurt didn't want to be seen sitting by himself so he hid in the bathrooms in a stall. Tears cluttered his eyes as he sat on the toilet with the lid down. This was not how he wanted the day to go at all. He felt pitiful and pathetic. Once the bell rang for his next class he slunk out and went to take his seat in English. They were getting their marks back and Kurt was anxious to see how he did on his essay. When his teacher handed it back and looked at Kurt with disappointment, Kurt felt one inch tall. He looked at the paper. C minus. Great. Kurt felt even more pathetic.

Back in maths with Blaine he downcast his eyes and shrugged as an attempt to truthfully answer Blaine's question without mentioning how crap he felt. Blaine gave him a hopeful smile and they continued on with their work. At the end of the lesson, while everyone was shuffling around waiting for the bell to ring, the teacher yelled Kurt's name. His head snapped round instantly and he looked at him with wide eyes. What had he done now?

"Kurt," his teacher continued, yelling over the noise in the room, "I marked your test from last week and frankly I am disappointed. I had high expectations, and you did shockingly, it was like you didn't try at all. I thought you were good at maths!" The teacher shook his head, "Not good enough Kurt, not at all." By then, the whole class was staring at Kurt who had his head bent so low it was almost touching the desk. Beside him, Blaine had frozen in his seat, his arm extended towards Kurt, not really sure what to do. Mercifully, the bell finally rang and Kurt grabbed his bag and ran out of the room, not lifting his eyes from the floor. He kept running and was almost at his car with tears threatening to spill over when he heard Blaine running after him.

"Kurt, het Kurt! Hold up! Wait! Stop!" Blaine managed to stop beside him, panting. He swivelled Kurt around so he could see his face. It was flushed and Kurt's eyes were shining and had a defeated look in them.

"Are you okay?" Blaine asked, not really sure what else to do. Kurt shook his head. Blaine stroked his hand up Kurt's arm in what was supposed to be comforting but it didn't do much good. The tears started to run silently down Kurt's cheeks as he looked at Blaine with the saddest expression he had ever seen. Despite not being a touchy-feely person, Blaine grabbed Kurt into a hug, wrapping his arms around him tightly and protectively. Kurt started sobbing into Blaine's shoulder, returning the hug. It was exactly what he needed. Through the sobs he told Blaine about his day, how awful it was and how he just wanted to crawl into bed. Once he was done, the sobs had turned into the occasional sniffle. He still had his face buried in Blaine's shoulder and they were rocking back and forth gently. It was very soothing. Finally Blaine pulled back,

"It's your birthday?" he asked gently. Kurt nodded slowly and sadly. He was starting to feel embarrassed at how emotional he was being, he didn't like to show anything but a cool, calm and collected exterior at school and especially around Blaine.

"Yeah," Kurt said quietly, "I just didn't want to make a big deal out of it." Blaine rolled his eyes and grabbed Kurt's hand, tugging him along in the direction of his car.

"Wait, where are we going?" Kurt asked, confused. Blaine grinned at him and kept walking.

"You'll see," he said with a knowing smile.

XXXXXXXXXX

A ten minutes later Blaine pulled up to a small café. He looked at Kurt apologetically.

"I'm sorry it's nothing flash, but I thought we could celebrate your birthday over afternoon tea." Blaine smiled sheepishly, hoping Kurt would agree.

Kurt returned the smile. "Come on then, lets go eat!" He grabbed Blaine's hand and pulled him out of the car and into the café.

They picked a booth by the window and sat opposite each other. They sat in semi-comfortable silence for a few minutes, taking in each other's presence.

"So….." Kurt started, wanting to ask something but not sure if he should. Blaine looked at him with his eyebrow raised, waiting for him to continue.

Kurt took a deep breath and looked at the table in front of him. "Why now? Why not two years ago or when we first met? What changed that made you want to become proper friends with me, that made you not so ashamed of me anymore?"

Blaine bent his head down in guilt. He regretted so greatly what he had done to Kurt.

"My friends," He began, "A few months ago I was hanging out with them and realised what total and complete _assholes_ they were. I felt ashamed to know them, to be one of them. And so I talked to another friend of mine about it and she invited me to meet her friends. They were really cool people, easygoing, not caring about what people think and putting their friends above all else. I really admire them and wanted to live my life the same way so I decided that I had to make a change."

Kurt frowned. "So it is about you feeling bad for what you did so you are trying to fix it so you can feel better?"

"It's not just about me," Blaine insisted, "I didn't give you the chance you deserved. I used you, not seeing how incredible you are. I just wanted to make things right, not just for myself but for you too. And I am so glad you gave me a second chance, Kurt, because you are such an extraordinary person and I was an idiot not to see that."

Kurt reached over and squeezed Blaine's hand. "I was quite intense and needy back then too, we are all embarrassed of our younger selves."

Blaine laughed, feeling relieved.

Blaine and Kurt spent the next hour and a half in the café, having food and enjoying each other's company. They caught up on some of the things that they missed over the few years since they were freshman: parties, drunken escapades, and friendships. They laughed a lot and enjoyed each others company in what Kurt viewed as a strictly platonic way. Blaine dropped Kurt back at his car so he could drive it home, giving him a goodbye hug as Kurt thanked him once again for paying for their food.

Kurt sat in his car for a few minutes gathering his thoughts and thinking about what a surprising day this was and how it couldn't of ended better.


	12. Part II: Chapter 3

It was after school a few weeks later and Kurt and Blaine were wandering through the park near their school while eating ice creams and chatting. Kurt had realised about a week ago that he really enjoyed Blaine's company a lot more when he was infatuated with him and it was simply platonic. It meant he wouldn't over think the interaction and Blaine was no longer leaning on him too hard but they were simply enjoying being friends. Kurt felt so overwhelmed with happiness when he realised that life did get a hell of a lot better than it was during his freshman year: he wasn't a naïve kid that followed Blaine around like a puppy, he was an equal. And even better, the bullying had ceased and Kurt felt very lucky to have two close friends like Blaine and Rachel. He had to admit that Rachel had done a lot of growing also over these past few years, having finally accepted herself during junior year after realising that she was gay and madly in love with one of close friends, Quinn. Quinn had taught her, and Rachel had taught herself that the hate and bullying and unkindness she had transferred onto Kurt what was only meant for herself. As soon as Rachel accepted herself, Kurt had accepted her too, with only part of the reason being he was desperate for friends. Most people wouldn't feel lucky for only having two good friends, in fact that wouldn't make them feel very good but when Kurt reflected on that unhappy place he was in, he knew not to dwell on wanting more friends, but being happy and content with what he had now. The truth was that since Kurt ad Blaine had started hanging out, the depression was lifting. Kurt no longer wanted to go straight to his room after school only to leave when he had to go to school, some days missing it altogether, but he looked forward to it. He had become a lot more of an optimistic person and he had his friendship with Blaine to thank. He was immensely glad he was a forgiving person and had let Blaine and Rachel back into his life after the disaster that was freshman year, because he wouldn't have been living the happy life he was. But despite forgiving them, and Blaine in particular, he still hadn't fully put all his trust in him. He was more cautious with his heart now; he no longer wore it on his sleave but in a box that was locked away. And it was because of this, that he said the things he did that afternoon.

They were walking along the path, laughing about something that happened in maths class that morning when Blaine stopped suddenly, turning to Kurt and biting his lip.

"Kurt," He began, looking very, very nervous which, in turn, made Kurt very, very nervous and anxious, "Willyougoonadatewithme?" Kurt stood frozen for a minute while he dissected what Blaine said so he wouldn't have to ask him to repeat it, then when he suddenly realised that Blaine had asked him out he was stunned. What a weird turn of events.

"No, sorry Blaine. I wont."

"Oh," Blaine's eyes dropped to the ground. It was the first time Kurt had ever seen him look embarrassed, he had to admit that it broke his heart a little. "Um, okay," Blaine turned around and started walking in the opposite direction from Kurt. Kurt stood still, not really sure what to do when Blaine walked back, his hands shoved in his pockets and his eyes downcast.

"Can- Can I ask why not?" Blaine said quietly.

"Of course," Kurt said, empathetic at Blaine's embarrassment. He knew it took a lot of strength and bravery to ask someone out. "It's just that, well, you know that I forgive you for what happened a few years ago right?" Blaine nodded, sadly. "It doesn't change the fact that you tore my poor, young heart into little tiny pieces. It's still repairing itself, and I just don't think it will be able to be mended if it happens again. So I am just being cautious. I'm just not really to trust you. I'm sorry." Kurt looked at Blaine hopefully, willing him to understand and hoping this wouldn't change their friendship.

"I understand," Blaine said, still somewhat sadly. "Thank you for your honesty."

Kurt took Blaine's hand in his and looked into his eyes with Blaine returning his gaze. "I really love our friendship Blaine and someday I will be ready for more than that. But not just yet." Kurt gave him a hopeful smile and squeezed his hand. Blaine squeezed back and gave him a smile that melted Kurt's heart a little.

"I'm glad we're friends." Blaine said, letting Kurt's hand go.

"Me too." The subject was dropped then, and Blaine began telling Kurt about this awesome movie he was going to see on Saturday night.

"What are you doing Saturday?" Blaine enquired.

"Its Rachel's birthday," Kurt replied, "Her dad's are going to be away and they felt guilty for leaving her on her birthday so they said she could have a party. A few of her friends, me included, are going round and celebrating with her."

"Sounds like fun."

"It will be," Kurt said, giving him a smile that showed his excitement and Blaine wished he could go too. He would kill to be at a party with Kurt, alcohol, dancing and looser inhibitions. But alas, he wasn't friends with Rachel so he just had to be happy that Kurt was going to have a good time.

They said their goodbyes a few minutes later because it was late and they both had some homework to do so they wouldn't have to worry about doing it during the weekend.

XXXXXXXX

It was Saturday night; Kurt had more than a little to drink and was dancing clumsily on the stage in Rachel's basement. There were at least thirty people there, possibly more because Kurt sucks at estimating numbers and Kurt only knew about half of them, probably less. He had no idea how Rachel knew all these other people because as far as he knew she didn't have any afterschool activities that weren't school related and the people here were definitely not from school. But Kurt decided that the more people the better and then he realised he must be quite drunk because usually his motto is 'the more people, the more likely I wont be there'.

The song Dance (Ass) by Big Sean and Nikki Minaj came on and Kurt did a little squeal and turned to the guy next to him and said "I LOVE this song" and started jumping up and down. The guy looked Kurt up and down a few times hungrily then roughly grabbed Kurt's hips, pulling his ass into him until Kurt was grinding up on the guys crotch. Kurt definitely did not mind this sudden turn of events and began moving his hips in time to the song while throwing his hands up in the air. The boy started rocking his hips also so he was grinding on Kurt's ass while still holding onto Kurt's hips. Kurt loved it; he had never danced like this with anyone before and he felt _great _and suddenly very turned on. They continued "dancing" like this until the song ended and another one began. Kurt spun around so him and the boy were face to face and he finally got to see what he looked like. He had tanned skin, short black hair and was about Kurt's height. And he had a killer smile.

"Hi," Kurt shouted over the music. The guy leaned over and whispered into his ear,

"Hi." Yep, Kurt was definitely turned on. He grabbed the boy's hips and the boy grabbed his and they started rubbing up against each other, as horny boys tend to do when surrounded by sexy dance music and while heavily intoxicated. The friction was heavenly for Kurt and he decided to lean in and grab the brown eyed mans lips with his own, they continued dancing while they kissed, arms moving from hips to around the other's neck and their lips taking turns sucking the others, fighting for dominance. Tongues came out to play eventually too, twisting and turning in each others mouths until it was too much to bear and they broke apart, breathing heavily. They danced together for awhile, then separately, Rachel demanded drunkenly that Kurt must dance with her and then they came together again for another steamy kiss before the boy who Kurt neglected to ask for a name whispered against Kurt's mouth, "I'll see you around" and made his way for the door. Kurt didn't really mind, knowing he was only using the boy for his mouth and awesome hips. When he was tired of dancing and almost everyone had left, he and Rachel tidied up while also sobering up and then once the room looked spotless and there was no evidence that the party had involved alcohol, for the benefit of Rachel's dad's, they dragged themselves up to her room and crashed on her bed, falling into a deep slumber.

XXXXXXXX

It was Monday morning and Kurt was very quiet, even more than useful. He had sunglasses on that here covering his poor, tired eyes and he walked slowly as to not anger his pounding head. Needless to say, he was not handling his hangover well. He was tempted to shush all the obnoxiously loud people chattering to each other as they walked passed him in the hall but resisted and continued to shuffle sluggishly and carefully to his first class of the day, Maths.

When he eventually arrived, he gently took his place next to Blaine and delicately placed his head onto the desk in front of him, closing his eyes wishing for a few blissful moments of sleep. Blaine have him a strange look as he entered the room but sat down without saying anything, seeing that Kurt was tired and probably not in the mood for a conversation.

A few minutes later the girl sitting behind Kurt and Blaine, a friend of Rachel's that was a part of the group that Kurt sat with, leaned over her desk. "Saw that you had a good night at Rachel's, Hummel. Finally got some, huh?" She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. Kurt moaned and covered his head with his hands.

"What's she talking about?" Blaine asked curiously.

A guy walked past Kurt's seat, heading for the back of the classroom. "Kurt, you little slut." He joked. Kurt didn't respond, too embarrassed to say anything.

"Okay, what happened Saturday night?" Blaine asked

Kurt finally lifted his head and sighed. "I got really drunk hooked up with a guy. I don't know who he was, I don't even know his name." Kurt mumbled. Blaine's eyebrows almost shot up to his hairline. He didn't take Kurt for a random hook-up sort of guy. Now he _really _wished he was at that party.

"Do- do you regret it?" Blaine asked quietly, sort of scared of the answer.

"No, I don't. It was really hot and to be honest, he was a really good kisser." Blaine's heart felt like it had almost stopped beating and dropped to his stomach. Jealousy and rage became him. _He _wanted to grind up against Kurt, _he _wanted to kiss him sensually, _He_ wanted to suck on Kurt's lips and grind up against him. _He _wanted to wrap his arms around Kurt and rock to the beat of the music, _He _wanted to stick his tongue in his mouth and _he _wanted to get drunk with him. But some piece of hot shit that Kurt had only met five seconds early got to do it instead. He frowned, folding his arms across his chest and pouted.

"That's nice for you," He muttered to Kurt through tight lips, trying to resist "Hmph-ing" immaturely.

"What's your problem?" Kurt muttered, suddenly very confused.

Blaine shrugged, "Nothing."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Whatever." He gently placed his head on the desk and it remained there until the teacher started speaking.

XXXXXXXX

"If you wanted to kiss someone you could have always kissed me you know?" Blaine said as he and Kurt were walking out of class.

Kurt rolled his eyes, "It was spur of the moment! We were dancing one minute and the next we, um, had our tongues down each other's throats. It wasn't like I was seeking out someone to kiss. And besides, last time we kissed didn't exactly end well."

Blaine stayed silent on the matter after that because he knew Kurt was right and he was so freaking sorry about what he did to him. He knew that he would always regret it until the day he died. Blaine squeezed Kurt's hand and looked at him. Blaine's apologetic and remorseful look in his eyes softened Blaine and he gave him a smile.

"You have beautiful eyes you know that?" Kurt said, "You could probably kill my whole family and I would forgive you if you put on those sad, puppy eyes." Blaine rolled said puppy eyes and nudged Kurt playfully.

"I know."

Kurt rolled his eyes and laughed, pulling his hand away from Blaine's to go sit with Rachel and her idiot friends.


	13. Part II: Chapter 4

**A/N: If I followed my original plan this would of been the last chapter. Luckily I have more to say and can extend it longer; I'm not near ready to let this story go. I just want to take the chance to say thank you for reading this, this story is so immensely personal to me, you have no idea. It has helped me sort out things, put them into perspective and know that it wasn't me that caused the happenings that played out in the first part of this story, because unfortunately this work of fiction was based on real life. The second part of the story, the part you are reading now is based on what I wished happened, but sadly my story ended when part one did, without closure. Sorry for the spiel and soppiness, I am feeling nostalgic today. **

It's lunchtime and Blaine is sitting with his friends talking about a movie that is coming out soon. They are all laughing, joking and having a good time. Blaine is too, he is so glad he found these friends. They aren't judgemental, they don't care about status, and they care if you are a nice person. He thought that he was happy with those people he called friends in freshman year but with a new, less naïve perspective he can see that they were poisoning him. They didn't care about each other; they were all out for themselves, for their image. Blaine admits that at the time that is what he cared about too. And if he was honest, he settled with them because he wasn't sure if he would be accepted by anyone else because of his sexuality. Bisexuality has a stigma around it, of being a floozy, indecisive and greedy. Blaine was worried that people wouldn't like him, so when this group of guys didn't mind and in fact thought it was kind of cool that he was Bi, he latched onto them. But his friends now are wonderful, nice, open human beings. And that is very rare in high school. They all get into fights a lot because they are all quite opinionated but they shape each other to be better. It is a place where Blaine is comfortable.

But then Blaine looks across the room where Kurt is sitting and his heart aches. He can see that Kurt is trying to enjoy himself, nodding along with whatever the other people are saying, forcing a smile if one of them looks at him. But Blaine can see he is not happy. Kurt may as well be sitting alone because by the look of it, he is very lonely. Blaine wishes he could go over there and cheer him up: give him a hug, make him laugh but he doesn't. He justified it to himself that he should mind his own business, that Kurt wouldn't sit with them if he didn't want to. But Blaine knows that it is better to be lonely surrounded by people then alone.

XXXXXXXX

"Hey,"

Blaine came into maths class and took a seat beside Kurt, who was staring off into space. Kurt gave him a smile in return.

"Kurt, why do you sit with those people at lunch?" Blaine knew it wasn't his business but he couldn't help but ask.

"Because they are my friends," Kurt replied, almost robotically.

"Are they really?" Blaine pushed.

"Rachel is." Kurt said quietly.

"I know she is, but since she is away for a month on vacation you don't have to sit with her friends out of obligation."

Kurt thought about it then shrugged. "It's better than sitting alone." Blaine nodded to himself, acknowledging that he was right in his thoughts before. Kurt sits with them because he is lonely.

"Well, what if you, um, didn't have to sit with them?" Blaine asked, suddenly anxious.

"What do you mean?" Kurt turned to him with a confused expression, a crease forming in the gap between his eyes. Blaine had to resist the urge to smooth it out.

"Well, you could always sit with me." There it is, it was out there. Blaine bit his lip, looking at Kurt hesitantly, waiting for his answer.

"You don't have to feel obligated to sit with me Blaine just because you pity me."

Blaine let out a frustrated sigh. "I don't want to sit with you because I pity you. I want to sit with you because I _like_ you."

"You do?" Kurt asked, his beautiful round eyes searching Blaine's face for any sign of untruthfulness.

"Of _course_ I do silly. I wouldn't have asked you on a date the other day otherwise! I enjoy spending time with you Kurt."

"Oh." Kurt sat silently for a minute, looking deep in thought. "Will you ask me again?"

"Ask you what?"

"On, um, a date."

Oh! Blaine smiled. Well this conversation had definitely taken an unexpected turn. He put his hand over Kurt's hand and looked him in the eye. Blaine couldn't believe he was doing this in maths but luckily no one in the class was paying attention and the teacher was to old to hear them.

"Kurt, will you go out on a date with me?"

Kurt smiled serenely. "Yes, I will."

"And will you sit with me during lunch in the meantime? At least until Rachel comes back?"

Kurt chuckled. "I would love to."

Blaine beamed at him, his face lighting up with his smile. "Awesome."

XXXXXXXX

At exactly seven pm the next Saturday evening there was a knock on the door. Kurt jumped up quickly; he had been restlessly pacing around his house for the last twenty minutes waiting for this exact moment. He swung the door open and there stood the most beautiful boy he had ever seen in the flesh. He was wearing dark blue dress jeans, a striped long sleave top and a maroon coloured cardigan. Kurt had to resist himself from drooling. Blaine looked amazing. He had gelled his usually very unruly hair back, which meant Kurt was even more drawn to Blaine's multi coloured bright eyes.

"Hi," He stuttered out.

"Good evening. You ready to go?" Blaine asked. He was jittery too but was better at hiding it than Kurt. He didn't want to screw this up.

Kurt pulled the door closed and followed Blaine to his car. Always the gentleman, he opened Kurt's door for him and pushed it shut once he was seated.

"So, where are we going?" Kurt enquired.

"Part one: dinner at this awesome Japanese restaurant in Columbus."

Once they got there, after making comfortable small talk in the car Kurt quickly jumped out of the car and rushed around to Blaine's door. He opened it for him, not wanting Blaine to be the only chivalrous one of the two.

Blaine laughed at the gesture. "Thank you sir," he remarked cheekily.

Dinner was lovely. They both enjoyed the company, the food was nice (and cheap enough for a student's very low budget) and it was very low key. No dimmed lighting, over the top candlelight and awkward first date silence. Just two people who enjoyed each other's company. Blaine picked insisted that he would pick up the bill and Kurt relented, not wanting to start an argument over it even though he would feel much more comfortable paying for his own dinner.

When they existed the restaurant Kurt headed for the car but Blaine grabbed his hand and pulled him the other way. "We still have part two," Blaine said. Kurt raised his eyebrow but didn't respond. He was happy to be pulled along the sidewalk with his hand in Blaine's. The walk took only five minutes but it was a cold night so they were both glad when they finally stopped in front of a nondescript building.

"Where are we?" Kurt asked, confused.

Blaine smiled, proud of himself for coming up with the perfect date spot for Kurt. "I know you love books so I thought we could hang out in this late night bookstore. They have a café built in so I figured we could just relax, have a coffee or a hot chocolate or something and read some books."

Kurt looked at Blaine in surprise, his bright eyes sparkling. "That sounds absolutely perfect. I couldn't of picked a more perfect part two to our date."

So the pair spent a few hours lying facing each other on a couch in the bookstore, feet tangling together, drinking warm drinks, sharing a cheesecake and sneaking looks at each other over their books. When 11 o'clock began sneaking up on them, the time Kurt had to be home, they left. Wishing they could have spent all night in each other's company.

When their night drew to a close and they had arrived at Kurt's house, Blaine decided to walk him to the door. Kurt grabbed his hand as they walked up the pathway and Kurt stopped and turned to Blaine once they reached the doormat. "I had a beautiful night Blaine. It was very thoughtful of you, thank you."

Blaine smiled and leaned in close for a kiss goodnight but before his lips touched Kurt's, Kurt jarred his head back in rejection. Blaine frowned. He had done everything right, why wasn't Kurt kissing him?

"I'm sorry Blaine, but I can't just yet. I'm not ready."

"Not ready? You were ready enough to make out with that random boy at Rachel's party."

Kurt's eyes widened, offended that Blaine got so angry so quickly. "I'm not ready to be your boyfriend." Kurt elaborated. "I loved our date but we just need to take it slow okay? I can't let you hurt me again. Not this time, not again. I barely survived the first time." Kurt spoke soothingly at first, wanting to make peace but got snappier as he had he spoke, hating that he had to justify rejecting Blaine's kiss.

"I wont let you go again, I promise." Blaine said passionately.

"That's not your decision Blaine. I will be able to trust you eventually but just not yet. Promises were made to be broken."

Blaine nodded sadly in understanding. He knew that it would take awhile, but he thought they were getting somewhere. But he respected Kurt's decision, because he knew it was his fault for being stupid and careless, playing it fast and loose with Kurt's feelings three years ago. One day Kurt would entrust him with his love, his kisses and his intimacy. But just not yet.

Blaine squeezed Kurt's hand. "Good night."

"Good night" Kurt whispered in response, going inside with one last wave and a gentle smile, leaving Blaine on the porch feeling sorry for himself and hating himself at the same time.


	14. Part II: Chapter 5

**A/N: Thank you to the guest that always writes really long and thought out reviews. You are awesome, and very articulate. **

Blaine spends his Sunday post first date with Kurt, thinking. He decides he needs to step up his game, show his honest side, and spend more time alone with Kurt so Kurt can be more comfortable around him. Yes, good. Unless Kurt gets sick of his constant presence. Hmm. A big public declaration that makes Blaine look like a fool? No bad idea. Kurt likes to keep to himself so drawing attention to the two of them wouldn't put Blaine in Kurt's good books. He could just go on being his friend, seeing him at school, sitting with him at lunchtime but no. It is not quite enough. Slowly, the plan forms in Blaine's mind. How he can show Kurt how much he has changed. Yes good.

He sends a text to Kurt, asking him how his day is going. It is a subtle reminder that Blaine is thinking of him and Blaine knows that Kurt needs constant reassurance that people care and think about him. They text back and forth for a while while Blaine does some research on his computer and writes down his plan. Lying in bed that night he smiles to himself, he cannot wait for tomorrow.

XXXXXXXX

It's the last period before lunch on Monday and Blaine manages to sneak out of class a few minutes early and rushes over to the other side of the school so he is waiting outside Kurt's classroom before the bell rings. Once the class is dismissed, Kurt packs up his things and leaves the classroom, intending to meet Blaine at the spot in the library where they have been sitting together for the last week. To his surprise, Blaine is waiting outside the door, looking at it eagerly when Kurt walks out of it.

"Blaine?" Kurt says, wondering how he knew what class he was in.

"Hey," Blaine says, a smile lighting up his face. God Kurt looks good today, Blaine swallowed nervously. "Do you, um, mind if we have a change of plans. I was thinking we could sit with my friends instead?"

"Oh," Kurt said, "Yeah, of course. I'm sorry that you have been neglecting them, you don't have to sit with me all the time you know, I don't mind-"

"Kurt, stop! Calm down!" Blaine interrupted Kurt's babbling. "I thought we could sit with my friends because I don't think it is fair for you to be monopolised by me, you might want more friends as well and I think you will really like them. They are really cool people."

Kurt smiled, overwhelmed by Blaine's thoughtfulness. Its true, it wasn't healthy for him only to have Rachel and Blaine as his only friends, he needed to branch out from his comfort zone.

"Okay then. Lets go meet them." Kurt marched determinedly beside Blaine, who led him over to his group.

"Hey guys," He said when they got there. He stood at the head of the table and had his arm round Kurt protectively and comfortingly. He knew Kurt wasn't comfortable around many people so even though this was the right thing to do, he knew it wasn't the easiest for Kurt. "This is Kurt Hummel, my best friend. Mind if he joins us?"

The group of ten or so people smiled encouragingly at Kurt, sensing his nervousness and desperation to be accepted. One of the group members, a tall lanky boy of Asian heritage spoke up, "Of course man, its nice to meet you. Take a seat." Kurt smiled gratefully and seated himself between Blaine and the boy who just spoke, who introduced himself as Mike. Everyone went round introducing themselves to Kurt and while he was overwhelmed, they seemed like nice people and he was happy to be sitting with them.

Once the bell rang and Blaine and Kurt left to go to Maths, Kurt turned to Blaine, smiling appreciatively. "Thank you for introducing me to your friends Blaine, they seem like great people. The kind I can actually talk to."

"So you will sit with us again tomorrow?" Blaine asked hopefully, wanting to integrate two important parts of his life.

"Yeah, I will." Blaine squeezed his hand as they took their seats in class. Letting go only when Kurt needed to use it to copy down what the teacher was writing on the board.

"Thanks."

XXXXXXXX

The next morning, little it be known to Kurt who was inside his house styling his hair, packing his bag and getting ready to leave for school, Blaine was standing outside Kurt's house, leaning against Kurt's car two coffee's in hand. One was already half finished because Blaine had arrived half an hour earlier so he wouldn't miss Kurt, as he had no idea what time he left for school. So when Kurt stumbled out of his house, basically half asleep still (he was not a morning person), he almost ran into Blaine as he made his way towards his car.

"Whoa! Careful!" Blaine exclaimed, grabbing onto Kurt to steady him.

"What are you doing here!?" Kurt asked, the last thing he was expecting was an eager and handsome young boy hangout outside his house far too early in the morning.

"I brought you a coffee and was wondering if you wanted a ride?" Blaine asked hopefully, his puppy eyes shining at Kurt.

Kurt accepted his coffee and made his way to Blaine's car. When they were seated and on their way to school, Kurt turned to Blaine. "Why…?"

"Did I pick you up?" Blaine finished for him, "As an apology for Saturday night. I'm sorry for overstepping my boundaries and trying to kiss you."

Kurt looked at him silently for a long time and Blaine started to get uncomfortable. Should he not of brought it up?

Finally Kurt spoke. "Thank you Blaine. It means so much to me that you respect me and my boundaries. You are a great friend."

Blaine returned the smile but tightly, hoping he didn't just get friend zoned. Kurt reached over and grabbed his hand, squeezing it in an action that was a becoming a familiar portrayal of affection between the two.

XXXXXXX

That afternoon, when Blaine drove Kurt home, Kurt nervously asked him if he would like to come inside. It was the first time that Blaine had been in the house since the disastrous incident three years prior and Blaine felt very privileged that Kurt invited him in. Baby steps.

They spent the afternoon in Kurt's room, listening to music and doing homework while sitting side by side on Kurt's couch. Sometimes they would reach over and entwine their fingers together until one of them needed their hand for something and would regrettably pull away. After awhile, Kurt got bored with his history homework, slamming the book shut and sighing loudly. Blaine jumped at the sudden sound then followed Kurt's lead, shutting his book too.

"Um Kurt?" Blaine started hesitantly

"Yes?" Kurt said just as cautiously, sensing Blaine's tone.

"You know how you told me the other day that you write short stories some times?" Kurt nodded, "Can I read some?"

Kurt raised his eyebrows and bit his lip, surprised at Blaine's random question.

"Um Su-Sure." He scrambled of the couch and grabbed the book out of his bookcase that he uses for writing. He handed the book to Blaine, figuring he can pick which one to read himself and sat beside him, watching his face for reactions as Blaine's eyes darted across the page. There was just one problem; Kurt had completely forgot about that poem he wrote in freshman year about Blaine one night when he was completely heartbroken and crying in the middle of the night. He also forgot that he had written _Blaine_ at the top of the page so that when Blaine flipped through the book, his name caught his eye and he stopped on that page and read possibly the most heart-wrenching thing he had ever seen. He read it over and over as Kurt sat frozen, wondering why Blaine had started tearing up and his hands started shaking. That confusion turned to horror as he leaned over and looked at what Blaine was reading and realised in a rush that Blaine had seen his poem that was never intended for anyone's eyes, _especially _Blaine's.

Suddenly Kurt lunched for the book, snatching it from Blaine's hands and holding it close to his chest. Tears ran silently down Kurt's cheek in embarrassment. After a few silent minutes while Blaine and Kurt though over what just happened, Blaine finally quietly whispered "Kurt?"

Kurt sucked in a deep breath. "Don't Blaine, just don't. I never intended for you to see that."

Kurt stood up and was about to run out of the room in shame when Blaine grabbed his wrist, pulling him back to the couch so they were sitting facing each other.

"Kurt," Blaine began with tears running down his cheeks, "I want to say how so _fucking _sorry I am. I remember, I remember everything and played our memories together every day for the last three years until we spoke again. I never went to bed without thinking of you; you were my first thought in the morning and my last thought at night. Those things I did, those things I said are my biggest regrets and they will haunt me forever," Kurt opened his mouth about to interrupt, "No, let me finish. Those things I said, about you, about that girlfriend, comparing you. I was wrong, I was so wrong. I was so _young_ Kurt. So very young. You are the most intelligent, kind hearted, beautiful, amazing person I have ever met. And Kurt," Blaine waited until Kurt looked him in the eye, "I love you, I love you so much. I want to spend every minute, of every day of the rest of my life making up for what I did, and creating new memories to replace those awful ones because I love you Kurt." Blaine finished speaking started wiping away the tears that were now pouring down his face as he waited for Kurt to say something, _anything_ back.

Suddenly, Kurt lunged forward wrapping his arms tightly around Blaine. Blaine returned the hug, burying his face to Kurt's neck. They sobbed together in each other's arms about the things they lost, the things they had gained, until the tears ran dry with exhaustion.


	15. Part II: CHapter 6

**A/N: Warning: Swearing and very minor sexy times. **

It was two weeks after Blaine read the poem and things were going great between the two of them. Kurt was slowly trusting Blaine, especially after he saw him at what was possibly his most vulnerable state and Blaine had declared his love for him. He knew eventually that he wanted to be with Blaine but he was still having doubts, he wanted to be cautious this time around. Kurt was amazed by how his senior year was turning out, he had an amazing best friend who was in love with him and he no longer felt alone. He had _friends_ and that meant so much to him. His depression was easing, there were more good days than bad and he felt like a darkness was lifting off his chest. It made him feel strong, no longer helpless and he could attribute a lot of it to Blaine. He made him feel loved and that was possibly the greatest feeling in the world.

It was Friday lunchtime and there was an incident, causing Kurt to have an epiphany, which set things in motion for his world to change.

Kurt was walking down a school hallway, making his way towards Blaine who was coming from the other direction. They were smiling at each other and it was like no one else existed. Unfortunately, other people did. A boy was coming out of a side hallway at the same time as Kurt was walking past it. Not caring who was in his way, he ran into Kurt who was too focused on Blaine to step out of the way. The boy was much larger than him and with his petite frame, Kurt landed on the floor with a bang. Fuck that hurt, he landed right on his bony ass. The boy kept walking, sneering at Kurt as he stepped over him and continuing on his way.

Kurt brushed himself off, his cheeks pink with embarrassment and went to scurry off to the bathroom so he could feel embarrassed and hurt in private when he heard Blaine's voice. And he wasn't happy.

"Oi, asshole. Watch where you're walking!" He yelled after the boy that bowled Kurt down.

The boy turned round and looked at Blaine angrily, "Fuck you, you can't tell me what the fuck to do or where the fuck to walk."

"Actually, I will. Stay the fuck away from Kurt and quit picking on people who were minding their own Goddamn business."

The boy turned around, away from Blaine. His fists were clenched at his sides in anger but he kept walking, knowing there was no point starting a fight. Blaine ran up to Kurt, who was frozen watching the exchange came running over to check he was okay.

"Kurt! You should have stood up for yourself."

Kurt shrugged, "No need to start some trouble. Thanks though, for defending me."

Blaine looked at him seriously and with concern and grabbed Kurt's hand in his. "I will _always_ be there for you."

At that moment, Kurt suddenly realised something. This was not the Blaine he first met. That Blaine, the young, popular Blaine would have ignored Kurt completely. He would never of stood up for him, never drawing attention to the two of them and wouldn't of acknowledged Kurt to check to see if he if he was okay. It was then that he realised that the young boy had become a man, someone he could trust, rely on and love safely without getting hurt or rejected. He could trust him to stand up to bullies, he could trust him to hold his hand and kiss him in public, he could trust him to stay the night and not leave before he woke up. Kurt decided he was glad he never ended up with Blaine 3 years ago because they were different people now, stronger, more independent and with a stronger understanding of love and loss. Kurt was ready. He was ready to be with Blaine fully. He was ready to put his trust on him to be equals in a relationship. He had faith that he could give his heart to Blaine with out it getting hurt because Blaine had already given him his heart that night two weeks ago. He was ready to commit to being Blaine's boyfriend.

"Blaine?" He said, his voice wobbling with the force of his realisation and decision.

"Yeah?"

"Can we go somewhere and talk?"

"Of course."

Kurt led Blaine right out of school, not caring that they had classes to attend or lunch to eat. There were more important things to think about right now. Kurt led Blaine to the park down the street from their school. Blaine could see the determination on Kurt's face and decided he wouldn't say anything until Kurt did; he clearly had something on his mind.

They took a seat on the grass, facing each other. Kurt grabbed Blaine's hands, one in each of his and looked him in the eye. "Blaine I am ready to be your boyfriend. I may have been infatuated with that cool, scruffy boy three years ago but I am in love with you. The incredible, honest, generous, patient man in front of me. I love you Blaine and I hope I always will." With tears in his eyes, Kurt lunged forward connecting Blaine's mouth with his in a heated kiss, their lips searing with passion and love. Blaine leaned back after a while and looked Kurt in the eye before going back in for another kiss, this one gentle and sweet.

"I love you too Kurt" Blaine whispered against his boyfriend's mouth.

XXXXXX

It was their three month anniversary and Kurt was near shitting himself. He was pacing the floor in a fashion that was quite similar to when he was waiting for Blaine to pick him up for their first date. Could he do this? Yes, of course he could. He was ready. And it was _Blaine_; it wasn't like he had never seen him naked before. But it was _sex_, with penetration and small holes and large dicks and _urgh_, crap.

"I'm ready my love, you can come up now," Blaine called from the top of the stairs. He had spent the last ten minutes setting up the room and had kicked Kurt out to go wait downstairs. Kurt took a deep breath and made his way to his bedroom.

"Hey! Stop!" Blaine stopped him in the doorway and put his hand on Kurt's cheek. "Baby, you look terrified."

"What if I'm not good, what if you don't find me attractive enough, what if I hurt you?" Kurt's worries rushed out his mouth.

"You are the hottest man ever, so no need to worry about that and as for the other two, we will take it slow and I have no doubts that you will be excellent. Sex is meant to be fun Kurt, it is a way for two people to express their love in the most intimate fashion so relax and just enjoy yourself."

Kurt breathed out slowly and leaned in for a kiss. "You always know what to say."

Their first time was beautiful, filled with slow, sensual kisses, moans and "Oh yes, god, right there, harder." They came together, sharing their moans with their lips attached to each other and when it was over, Kurt pulled out and collapsed beside Blaine, wrapping his arms around his waist and pulling him in close.

"Wow," They both said at the same time, giggling at their synchronicity.

"I can't wait to do that again." Kurt muttered, closing his eyes and resting his head on Blaine's chest.

"We can do that forever." Blaine replied, running a hand through Kurt's hair tenderly before planting a kiss on the top of his head. "I love you Kurt."

"I love you too Blaine."


	16. Epilogue

**A/N While this was not the epilogue I originally wrote, this is what I ultimately decided on. I posted the original separately, just check it out on my profile under my stories. (Personally prefer the original). **

Epilogue

_Six Years Later_

Kurt is standing outside the door to the alter, peering through the curtain at his family and friends waiting for him to walk down the isle. He can see his future husband lined up at the second isle taking deep breaths and straightening his tie. Blaine looked over at him and grinned.

"I love you," he mouthed before stepping through the door, revealing himself to the guests as the music starts playing. After a deep breath to centre himself, Kurt does the same. He walks down the isle, catching Blaine's eye as they walk separately but in sync.

Finally, _finally_ they meet up at the alter. Blaine leans in close, "You look incredible," he whispers, so only Kurt can hear. Kurt turns to look at his groom, His eyes bright with tears. _This is it; this is the moment I have been dreaming of forever._

"You complete me." Kurt whispers back simply.

Once the minister completes the standard words, Kurt turns to face Blaine and begins his vows:

"Blaine, when I was a young fourteen year old boy I wrote a poem to you called Do You Remember and it took three years and a broken heart to finally get the answer I was wishing for but every little tear sped over you was worth it. It made me stronger and it made me more deserving of your love. I can't believe that I get to spend every day for the rest of my life waking up next to you. I am still in awe after this many years that I got so lucky and thank the universe every day that I get to call you mine. I love you Blaine Anderson, now and for forever."

With tears running down his face, Blaine started his vows:

"Kurt Hummel, you are the most incredible, amazing, intelligent, inspiring man I have ever met and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life reminding you of how much I love you. Thank you for all the years we have spent together putting up with me and for the many more to come. Thank you for pushing me to become a better, stronger, more honest me. You shaped me into the man I am today and I will spend all our days repaying you for it. I love you Kurt, for eternity."

They exchanged rings, kisses and tears and Kurt couldn't have imagined a better way of showing his love for the man in front of him than this wedding. It was perfect.

THE END

**A/N: Thank you for reading my little story. There will be some outtakes going up at some point. Feel free to catch me on my Tumblr (thereisthismoment). **


End file.
